Post by Joanna Byrne on Jan 28, 2021 3:48:35 GMT
The sun was barely up, as it’s lights came through the bay windows of Joanna's room. She was buried under the covers of her duvet, and quite comfortable among the down pillows. She was curled in on herself, the covers tucked under her chin as her blue eyes fluttered open. She blinked for a moment, eyes flickering towards the windows before drifting to the time on the clock on the bedside table. She didn’t bother to move, instead, letting her eyes drift closed once more in hopes more sleep would come.
Only it didn’t. Instead, the grief, hurt, and longing came creeping out of its locked box she normally kept locked year-round. This was the one day it always escaped, and the one day she allowed herself to feel anything. The day she felt most human.
Four years, now to the day since Colin and Tommy’s death. Something she could see so vividly behind her lids. Tommy’s last joke, her laugh as they went into the intersection. Colin's car seat mobile was going off, singing the ABCs, before there was the sound of squealing tires. Glass breaking, the crunch of metal, as Colin's blood-curdling, frightened scream filled the air, and the car rocked, groaning as it finally came to a stop. She couldn’t breathe, there was a ringing in her ears, nearly drowning out the baby’s cries. Her vision went blurry as her hand weakly went to reach for Tommy. She could feel the warm stickiness on her fingers from blood, and her eyes started to drift close, mumbling Colin's name before her vision went black.
Joanna's eyes sprang open, seeing that it was much later in the day now. A quick glance at the clock told her it was half passed noon. She’d fallen back asleep and forced herself to just feel her grief. Letting it roll over her before she let it pass. Her cheeks were wet from tears she'd shed while sleeping, and she realized someone was banging at her bedroom door. She ignored it, hoping they’d get the hint she didn’t want company. She usually kept it lock, more out of habit then anything.
Mick knew what day it was, she knew he’d at least leave her alone. The previous years she’d always spent the day home in Birmingham, so no one would have to see her, but this year she hadn’t been able to. Mick needed her here, they’d be going on another mission soon. The banging continued and it started to grate on her nerves. She could still faintly hear the sounds of the wreck and her son's cries, mixed in with the banging it was too much, and she finally snapped.
She threw the covers off, throwing her legs over the edge of the bed, and stalked towards the door. Her feet stomping with each step. She was dressed in her typical pajamas of a simple t-shirt and a pair of boxer shorts. Her hair was an unbrushed blond mess, and she unlocked the door before throwing it open. Glaring instantly at whoever it was. Her eyes were still full of tears and red-rimmed, her cheeks were flushed, and she could feel her bottom lip trembling. “What!?” She demanded. She wanted to show her anger, show how upset she was at the intrusion and that she didn’t want to deal with the company. Only, she sounded the opposite. It was almost pitiful, her tone. Her voice quivering as she felt the tears drip off her cheeks, and fall to the ground.
She reached up to wipe her cheeks with the back of her hand. “Am I needed?” She asked, thinking that was the only reason why someone would seek her out. And if Mick was smart, he would have told everyone to leave her alone today, so someone had better be on fire...
Only it didn’t. Instead, the grief, hurt, and longing came creeping out of its locked box she normally kept locked year-round. This was the one day it always escaped, and the one day she allowed herself to feel anything. The day she felt most human.
Four years, now to the day since Colin and Tommy’s death. Something she could see so vividly behind her lids. Tommy’s last joke, her laugh as they went into the intersection. Colin's car seat mobile was going off, singing the ABCs, before there was the sound of squealing tires. Glass breaking, the crunch of metal, as Colin's blood-curdling, frightened scream filled the air, and the car rocked, groaning as it finally came to a stop. She couldn’t breathe, there was a ringing in her ears, nearly drowning out the baby’s cries. Her vision went blurry as her hand weakly went to reach for Tommy. She could feel the warm stickiness on her fingers from blood, and her eyes started to drift close, mumbling Colin's name before her vision went black.
Joanna's eyes sprang open, seeing that it was much later in the day now. A quick glance at the clock told her it was half passed noon. She’d fallen back asleep and forced herself to just feel her grief. Letting it roll over her before she let it pass. Her cheeks were wet from tears she'd shed while sleeping, and she realized someone was banging at her bedroom door. She ignored it, hoping they’d get the hint she didn’t want company. She usually kept it lock, more out of habit then anything.
Mick knew what day it was, she knew he’d at least leave her alone. The previous years she’d always spent the day home in Birmingham, so no one would have to see her, but this year she hadn’t been able to. Mick needed her here, they’d be going on another mission soon. The banging continued and it started to grate on her nerves. She could still faintly hear the sounds of the wreck and her son's cries, mixed in with the banging it was too much, and she finally snapped.
She threw the covers off, throwing her legs over the edge of the bed, and stalked towards the door. Her feet stomping with each step. She was dressed in her typical pajamas of a simple t-shirt and a pair of boxer shorts. Her hair was an unbrushed blond mess, and she unlocked the door before throwing it open. Glaring instantly at whoever it was. Her eyes were still full of tears and red-rimmed, her cheeks were flushed, and she could feel her bottom lip trembling. “What!?” She demanded. She wanted to show her anger, show how upset she was at the intrusion and that she didn’t want to deal with the company. Only, she sounded the opposite. It was almost pitiful, her tone. Her voice quivering as she felt the tears drip off her cheeks, and fall to the ground.
She reached up to wipe her cheeks with the back of her hand. “Am I needed?” She asked, thinking that was the only reason why someone would seek her out. And if Mick was smart, he would have told everyone to leave her alone today, so someone had better be on fire...