W.W.S.D.? [log]

James hadn’t known what to do or what to expect when he agreed to this. A part of him wondered if she even did or if she was simply along for the ride. That’s what this had been from the start- carefree and just enjoyable. He hadn’t taken the time to think things through when he had ushered her from that bar, when he dragged her to the pier. Right now, he was trying to have that same mentality, but there was that “what if”, that gentle concern lingering at the back of his mind.

He liked Lina, and his list of people he actually liked was very short. It was a shame they were going to have to part ways. If anything, some sort of friendship could have developed here. As much of a friendship as a spy could have with a civilian. When was the last time he saw Sully or even Elliot?

Similar to what they had done last night, they just walked. One of the things that had caught his attention was the large screen of the drive-in theater playing some old black and white movie. But seeing as how neither of them had a car (and apparently it was frowned upon to sit on the grass around all the other vehicles), they’d found a bench in the distance by the beach and made up their own dialogue. James also began to people watch- both from paranoia and as a joke- and silently began to make up his own conversation between people quietly to see how much he could get Lina to laugh. It was only early evening, just a little after sundown, but he hadn’t bothered to glance at his watch once.

He had glanced at his phone every so often without making it seem like he was bored or checking the time. What he was doing was making sure he wasn’t missing a message from work. Jay even mentioned it to her after the third time of looking, wanting to ensure it wasn’t anything negative. He just wished he could stop thinking about it. But it was so rare that they gave this elusive message and then stay silent for days afterward. What the hell was going on? To ask would only get a response to wait and that they would “be in touch”.

This was the very reason why he felt like he couldn’t have a life.

Leaning back on that bench, blue eyes caught a young man walking the path in front of them, and a brow arched up. Slowly leaning closer to Helina, he didn’t take his eyes off the guy who looked like he spent his entire paycheck at Hot Topic. “I didn’t think emo was still a thing,” he whispered, half-amused but also seemingly disturbed. How many piercings did the kid have in his face?


After they left the restaurant, Lina had insisted on going up to her room to change out of her “stuffy” clothes, but mostly she wanted out of her heels because there was no way she was going to be walking around the rest of the day in them. After changing into her jeans, converse and a long sleeved dark blue shirt, she was ready. Leaving behind her glasses, because she didn’t think she’d need them.

The afternoon had certainly been eventful even if it was just walking around. She was perfectly fine with that, and actually enjoyed the little exploring they’d done, and the fun of making up their own dialog to the black and white movie. She realized James was quite good with voices, and often caught herself looking at him more than the screen.

Yes, he most certainly knew how to make her laugh as they people watched, and after he explained he was looking at his phone for work, she had waved it off. She used to work in the ER and would have to be on call. She knew what it was like to wait around for a possible phone call that may or may not come in, in fact she was used to it and wasn’t bothered in the slightest. She even took a moment to tell Marie she was hanging out with James again and would talk to her later before she turned her phone off.

The sun going down was her little reminder that the clock was ticking, and that they wouldn’t be sitting there for much longer. Midnight would be fastly approaching if the time that had already passed since lunch was any indication. Time just...didn’t exist when James was around. Or so Lina thought. Nothing else really existed either. Just him. Them. After this afternoon, she was quickly realizing she liked James. She like, liiiiiiked him she was quickly realizing, which was a no-no. She was leaving tomorrow, it wasn’t happening. Those types of thoughts were going to land her in trouble and feeling hurt in the end. He was a friend that was it. That was all he would ever be. And then he’d be a memory.

She crossed her legs as they sat on the bench, her hands were in her lap, and as James leaned towards her, she leaned towards him to hear what he was going to say. She began to laugh as she looked at who she was referring too. “Oh yes. We’re also in California, I’m not really surprised. You see all the different types here.” She pointed out. She nodded ways off at a guy with a man bun. “Hipster,” She nodded to another guy walking who was dressed in plaid and a beard. “Either a wannabe lumberjack or redneck.” She leaned forward to look around him. “Aaah, the wannabe gangsters.” She whispered, nodding to two dudes in wife beaters and who desperately needed a belt to keep their pants up as you could clearly see their underwear. She leaned back and chuckled. “Do you ever watch people and wonder what sort of life they actually have? Like...Don’t judge a book by its cover sort of thing?” She asked. “Emo dude could be a CEO of some major company for all we know.” She said with amusement.


Arms folding across his chest, those blue eyes flickered between her and every person she started to point out; his amusement growing with each stereotype until she mentioned the dark-clad kid with too many holes in his head being a CEO. He outright laughed. “Oh, I highly doubt that.” Huh, he was a bit judgemental, wasn’t he? Maybe because he was always watching people for a living...but not in this kind of sense. He rarely wondered who somebody was, who they could be besides a mark. Once they had a target on their head, he didn’t allow himself to care, because then the job wouldn’t get done otherwise.

If you got attached, it made it a whole lot more difficult. How do you look someone in the eye, a person you’ve gotten to know and understand...and pull the trigger? Even James wasn’t that cold-blooded, and perhaps why he didn’t allow himself to get too close to anyone. He couldn’t. If he wanted to be good at this job, he couldn’t chance it, couldn’t get attached. Couldn’t be normal. Even if, right in that moment, he kind of wished he was just simply James Bishop, constructive executive. Not some black-ops agent for a secret government agency.

That certainly put a damper on any kind of relationship.

He had shrugged at her question, though. Truthfully, he didn’t, but he felt weird saying such. “Maybe.” James looked sidelong to her, a smirk falling back onto his lips. “It appears like you do it a lot.” Shifting on the bench so he could face her, his elbow rested on the back while he leaned his head into his hand. “So, that means you probably judged me yesterday when we first met.” Oh yes, he was definitely asking about her immediate thoughts. He was curious, and maybe he shouldn’t be.


Lina laughed and shook her head. “You don’t know! You’d be surprised how wrong you can be about a person just by their looks and outward appearance.” She said. For a second, her thoughts turned to Steven. How she had worshiped the ground he’d walked on when they first met. He’d been the first boy to really give her any sort of positive attention. Who listened. Steven Houstan was a charmer. But he was also a snake who’d certainly fooled her. Someone could put up a facade and pretend to be everything you want, only to reveal their true selves later. Between the lies and abuse, Lina had finally had enough of Steven. She didn’t realize how quiet she had gone, or that she was lost in her own thoughts until James shifted so he could face her.

She glanced at him, arching an eyebrow and laughed. Her face sobered for a moment, and she turned her body to face his so they mirrored one another. She rested her cheek on her fist, and let a small sigh out. “Not really.” She said. “Truthfully, the first thought came to mind was “great, my space is being invaded by-Oh he has an accent!” She chuckled. “That was what made me look up at least.” She hummed for a second as she studied him more. “Then I thought you were either a doctor, writer, or nerd because of the conferences.” She snickered, grinning at him. “And trying to figure out which one. You crossed off nerd from my list very quickly.” She said amused. “Then, to my surprise you were a mere weary traveler stuck to stay for work. And you took the wee good doctor from her corner and tequila and made her face one of her fears.” She said a bit softly. A small smile appeared on her face as she looked him in the eye. The sunlight was doing that thing to his eyes again. Making them look like the sunset on the ocean. If he wasn’t careful, she’d stay there all night just looking into those eyes of his.

“If you really want to know if I judged you, I most certainly was of the belief you were into major guy things. Hearing you like plays earlier was actually a pleasant surprise.” She confessed. Her smile turned a bit more shy. “Alright, what about you? Did you judge me?” she reached up to poke him gently in the shoulder.


He was definitely certain he was wrong about a lot of people, but it wasn't in his job description to know or even care. Few had made it past that line, onto his list, and that was all. Again, he couldn't afford to care, couldn’t risk getting tangled up with the wrong person. And yet, he kind of was right now. With Helina. “Aye, yer right,” he simply relented with a nod.

When she claimed she hadn’t judged him, he gave her a look that clearly showed he didn’t believe her. She seemed to have opinions on all of these strangers, even if she may not actually believe them. As she continued, she had him laughing again and it appeared as though he was about to roll his eyes. “What’s it with you Americans and accents? So, if I approached you and-” James forced away his Scottish brogue once again when he spoke, “Sounded just like this.” A pause, and continued in his normal voice. “You’d not have bothered? That’s what yer tellin’ me, eh?” Although he was teasing, he was actually a little curious about it...not that he was going to push it further or ask again.

His expression was softening, though, as she spoke more; mentioning last night and how he had tried to help face one of her fears. Well, that was a good feeling, wasn’t it? It was normal and dare he wish he could continue doing simple, thoughtful things like that. Jay’s mind kept wandering to what time it was and that it was getting late. When the clock struck midnight, would she say her goodbyes and that was that? Wasn’t that what he should be hoping for?

Then suddenly, his face was contorting into confusion. “Guy things? As in, I’m not? Or I’m not...manly?” Should he be offended by that? He was laughing anyway because it sounded a little absurd, and he wasn’t quite sure what constituted “guy things”. When the question was turned back around on him, his gaze shifted away briefly. James should’ve known that was coming. “Not really, no…” And his tone of voice sounded pretty damn sincere. “I don’t...often take the time to judge others. I’m always movin’, always-” His other hand rose in gesture, like he was trying to figure out how to explain it. “In my own head.” Blue eyes slowly averted back to her and remained. “But I watch sometimes. I study. I note the way someone moves, how well they can hold eye contact. The way those eyes grow wide when they’re about to say somethin’ snarky, how they glint with a hint of mischief, how the light changes their color.” Perhaps, eventually, she’d start to realize that he wasn’t just talking about a random person in general. He was talking about her. “The way their lips purse when in thought, the way their smile stretches and lights up their whole face. How they stick their tongue out when they’re concentratin’.” James chuckled softly after that one, but his face sobered soon after. “I notice when somethin’ isn’t right, when that somethin’ brings them to tears.” He stopped then, wanting so badly to ask about her husband, about those scars, about everything but he couldn’t. It wasn’t his place, and she was leaving.

She was leaving.


Lina tried very hard not to laugh, but she couldn’t help it. “We don’t have accents around here unless you go down south or to the east coast okay! And I probably at least would have looked too see who was sitting next to me.” She defended, trying to not laugh but failing. “No no no, like...how to explain this….” she pondered, biting her lip. “I want to say alpha male who does outdoors things, having beers with the boys, football games, getting hyped about their sports, hunting, guy things, or maybe a meathead is the word I want…” she trailed off, she covered her face with her hands. Laughing into them. How to not sound like a bitch? “Okay okay, where I’m from, hearing a man say he likes plays is unheard of. They’d rather just go fishing, then have an intellectual conversation that doesn’t revolve around moose hunting and other things. It was a nice, good surprise.” She tried to explain. But who was she kidding? She probably insulted his manliness. “I’ve dug myself deeper in the hole haven't I?” She sighed, chuckling lightly before she leaned her head on her hand again.

She watched him as he began to answer her question, noticed how his eyes averted and that apparently he was in his own head a lot and moved around so much he didn’t have time to think too much on people. Life as a construction executive must have been rather busy. Constantly on the move? She didn’t know if she’d like that.

He started to describe the way he watched people, and for a moment Lina just listened to him talk. He really did have a nice voice and there was just something about it that drew her to him. Chilled her was a good word. Normally Lina just avoided people, and was untrusting of strange men, but for whatever reason James just...he felt...different. In a good, safe way, and it made her comfortable. It took her a bit to realize he was talking about her. All the things he apparently noted she did, and she didn’t realize or think he would notice all those things. She didn’t think he cared enough or was interested enough to point out things she didn’t even know she did.

Lina stared at him in disbelief for a moment, before she felt her breathing hitch. Are you going to notice when my heart does little flutters when you talk to me like that? That your stupid grin could be used as a lethal weapon? That I can get lost in those eyes forever? She thought the words but didn’t dare say them. There was a shift in the air that was for sure. Electric if Lina had a word for it. “You’re very observant.” She finally found the words to say, but they were spoken in a soft whisper. She broke eye contact for a second before her other hand was reaching forward and picking off a piece of lint from his shirt. A harmless, mindless gesture, but Lina’s heart was ramming around in her ribcage and she suddenly wanted to hit him. This...this stupid Scot was giving her feelings. Feelings she hadn’t wanted to ever experience again. The heartache of her divorce and what Steven had done had destroyed her. She had made promises to herself. Promises to protect herself and this Scot was taking a sledge hammer to those walls, and shaking her like she’d never been shaken before.

She’d just met him yesterday.

And yet it was like she’d known him in another lifetime and there was familiarity and comfort, and something that just made her-

She was leaving tomorrow. To hell with it all.

“Goddamnit, James.” She whispered with a shake of her head. She laughed quietly for a moment, before she made herself look at him again. Raw determination on her face that she was going to get out what she was going to say. “I notice how curious someone gets, but doesn’t ask the questions they want answers to. The way they’re constantly observing everything else but doesn’t notice when eyes are on them. How their smile is both gift and trouble all in one. That whether they realize it or not they have a way of putting an abused woman at ease, and knows how to make a girl laugh.” She arched an eyebrow at him. “I also notice they like to push buttons and get surprised when they get stuff thrown right back at them.” A coy smile appeared on her face as she leaned in and bowed her head as if she was about to tell him a secret. “I also notice when they’re pulling a Swayze and don’t even know it.” Lina was standing then as if everything was perfectly fine and normal before she’d bent down, her lips close to James’s ear. “What do you notice now?” She dared to ask. Almost afraid of the answer, she’d come this far however and there was no turning back. She straightened up then, glancing down at him with that smile of mischief when really she was freaking terrified. But still, he’d thrown her off balance, it was only fair she try and knock him off. She walked around the bench then casually, resting her hand on the back of it as she started to walk down the beach. Forcing herself not to look over her shoulder, and hoping beyond all hope he would follow.


Well, he didn't think it was possible for her to get more adorable, stammering on the way that she was...but she did. James could have stopped her anytime during her whole explanation, yet he couldn't bring himself to. Clearly he hadn't been offended, and his smile continued to grow and grow until it crinkled his eyes. Oh, he knew what she meant, and he eventually laughed when she was asking about digging herself a deeper hole. "You might've," he answered jokingly. If only to ease any possible concern, he added, "But I get what you mean." Telling her earlier on in her explanation would have helped, but then he would have had to make her stop talking. And he'd already mentioned how much he liked listening to her talk.

Maybe the cheekiness in his smile would have given that away.

But things started to change. He was toying with her, but not. The humor was disappearing as his honesty grew heavier and he wasn't even sure he realized it at first. Not until he saw her reaction.

’Goddamit, James.' That made him blink, some sort of clarity reaching his eyes as he watched her. His own breath was caught in his throat and he didn't know whether to smile or simply shrug it off. He had nearly reached for her hand when she touched him for that brief second and he'd had to stop himself. It was a reflex- no, an instinct that shouldn't be there and yet it was suddenly haunting him.

Lina was doing it again, using his own tactic against him with ease, and it kept him silent. He sat there watching her, until one word made his brows furrow. Abused. There it was. There was that uneasiness he felt, the possible reason for her tears, and knowing this now made an unnecessary rage boil deep within his chest. He kept trying to tell himself it wasn't his place, that he shouldn't question, that she seemed okay, that her uncle was taking care of it and her…

But he couldn't. No, he didn't want to stay out of it. And that was a major problem that he couldn't even understand or comprehend. Why was this happening?

He should have been smiling at her playful words but James was mostly furious at a man he didn't even know, a man he never met. However, the feeling didn't last long when she leaned in. 'I also notice when they’re pulling a Swayze and don’t even know it.' Well, shit, was he? Is this what Swayze would do? Why was he suddenly a little nervous about that?

Why was his own trick working against him?

Lina succeeded in knocking him off balance and he wasn't sure how to handle it. After her words in his ear, his attention never drifted away from her, watching as she moved, the way her hand brushed along the bench, when she walked off…

What was happening?

Despite the deal for him to remain until midnight, he knew he shouldn't follow. He shouldn't want to follow her. James remained seated for a good long moment, contemplating this, stunned by her words, by the way she so casually moved...and before he could further think any further about how much of a bad idea this was, he was shooting up from the bench to follow.

The moment she stepped into the sand, he was reaching for her hand and immediately halting her. Maybe what he said next was not what she was expecting, but the words fled from his lips in quiet earnest, "What did he do to you?"


He’s gonna leave. He’s gonna just walk away, you made things awkward. Or weird, or whatever. He’s going to just leave like he should have at lunch, he doesn’t want to really spend time with you. If anything he’s playing games or something like that. Maybe someone put him up to this at the bar, it’s a bet! Yeah that’s what it is, your better off just forgetting about him and-

Lina fought with her mind. Trying to force the nasty thoughts away. No, no James wasn’t like that. He was sweet, kind. He wouldn’t- For fuck’s sake Lina what have you done to yourself? She thought harshly. She’d just thrown the man's own medicine back at him, and had essentially just ran away because she was too afraid of her own boldness and what it might get her into. Sometimes being brave was scary as fuck.

By the time she reached the sand she’d thought he’d actually left, or wasn’t going to follow and she felt her heart constrict until she heard running up behind her, and a hand around hers, halting her from going any further. She didn’t realize how fast her heart was actually beating until she realized James was there. A chill went down her spine at his question and she didn’t dare look at him yet, so instead she looked out at the ocean. Focusing on that instead. Her body on the other hand had a mind of its own, and her hand tightened in his, as she began to chuckle lightly. It wasn’t a gentle light sound, it was full of bitterness. “Which one?” She asked quietly. Ah yes, Lina had more than one abuser. She took a moment, taking a deep breath. Well, he’d finally asked the question he apparently wanted the most answers too. However she didn’t know if he would like the answer. And she didn’t know if she really wanted to tell, but there was that little voice telling her she was leaving. What did it matter if she told him or not? She’d never see him again.

After a few more moments looking at the ocean, she finally turned to face him. Looking down at their feet, she could feel her skin begin to crawl just thinking about them, and her breathing was growing more tense. Almost as if she was about to have a panic attack, and maybe she was. She released his hand so she could roll up her shirt sleeves. The first one being her left arm where she showed him the outside of it and that nice scar daddy had given her. “I was twelve when I accidentally dropped a stack of dishes. Shattered, all over the kitchen floor. My dad said he was giving me a helping hand by throwing me down on the broken glass so I could clean it up. I got this, and a few others just like it on my left side and leg from where I landed.” She still didn’t look at him, only looked at the scar before she rolled her right sleeve up and showed him her right forearm. He’d be able to faintly see what looked like small burns in the shape of circles scattered across the inner part of her arm. “Dad liked to put his cigarettes out when we were around when he finished. I got more on my legs and outer part of my left bicep.” She said softly.

She pulled her sleeves back down then, and stared at his chest, figuring that was the best place to look at that moment. “I had more broken bones by the time I was fourteen to last for a lifetime. Arm, ribs, you name it.” She said bitterly. “He’s locked up for a good reason, and I hope he rots.” She whispered. The anger she had toward the man that had fathered her was clear in her tone, and she finally made herself look up at James. She didn’t realize it but her body was shaking. “The husband? All up here.” She reached up and tapped her temple. “And here.” She pointed to where her heart was. “Did quite the number with the emotional abuse. Lied, was gone all the time...Then he got physical.” She had been doing so well at just keeping her emotions in check. For whatever reason she’d just couldn't stop. She was reminded again of how familiar James was to her, that it just felt natural to tell him anything. It was okay, it was safe to tell him anything, which was probably why she hadn’t really thought twice about telling him about all the abuse. It was as if she’d already told him once before and was just retelling the tale, but as she began to talk about Steven the easiness was becoming more difficult. Probably because his abuse was still so fresh. Still new. Steven wasn’t in a penitentiary with four cement walls keeping him in. No, she was returning home to him.

She felt tears beginning to sting at her eyes as she looked at James, and for a second she felt like she couldn’t get enough air in and something was constricting around her. She found herself shaking her head at him. “I-I can’t.” Her voice cracked, as she took in a shuddered breath. She couldn’t go there. Not into Steven’s abuse. Not when those wounds still hadn’t quite healed. She looked away finally, trying to calm herself down, she wrapped her arms around herself. Focusing on the ocean again. It was several moments before she spoke again. “Picture the worst thing you can imagine in any abusive relationship, and I’ve had it.” She whispered. Thinking that would be the best answer, and give him some insight into everything that had ever happened.


What did he do? How dare he ask this of her? He had absolutely no right to interfere in her life, especially something so dark and private. James regretted it the moment the words left his mouth, wanting to take them back, to pretend that it didn't happen. But it was too late. She heard him and it stunned her into silence. Those eyes only dropped from her profile to their hands when he felt her grip tighten.

How fucking dare he ask.

Just when he was about to apologize, she was speaking, and her reply brought him to a cold pause. It hadn't just been one man. He remembered what she had said about her father before, and now it was so much more than that. Jay didn't let go of her hand until she did in order to show those scars, explaining them when she didn't need to. With these men horribly mistreating her, how was she able to trust him enough with these secrets of hers? Did she somehow feel obligated?

If only she knew that, in a sense, James was a worse monster than her father and husband combined. At least, every time he found himself in silence after pulling the trigger, he no longer felt human.

When those brown eyes turned to him, and he saw those tears, he nearly cursed himself out. Lina was withdrawing into herself because of his stupid, unnecessary question. A question that left him feeling things he shouldn't, this dangerous desire to get rid of that fear and hurt from her face at her response. How dare he.

Now, he didn't know what to do or say, and the guilt only got worse. 'I-I can't.' James immediately moved to step in front of her, to try and catch her eyes and prayed those tears hadn't fallen. He hesitated for a moment, hands reaching for her arms, trying to gain her attention. In that moment, he realized his heart was pounding and the real thing he wanted to do was draw her into an embrace yet he refrained. His intention wasn't to frighten her anymore than she was.

"I'm...I'm sorry, Lina," he began. "I shouldn't have asked. I had no right." James wanted to keep saying it, wanted to keep apologizing, wanted to take all of it back. Anything. "I just-" Now, he was suddenly struggling with what to say and how to act. His hands drifted down her arms to gently take her hands into his own.

She had mentioned her father was behind bars, but what of the husband? Jay knew he should leave this here and say no more of it. She had said enough, he could see that it was affecting her, yet he had to know. With her leaving tomorrow, he just had to be sure, even if he didn't understand why he had this heavy need to make sure she would be fine. "Is he out of your life? Are you safe now?" There was something dark in his tone, the way his voice dropped in an anger that shouldn't exist. Like he would do something about it if she said she wasn't safe. Her uncle was making sure of it, she had mentioned. A retired naval man would certainly have it taken care of, but James couldn't get rid of this...weird feeling. It was this soft possession over a woman he barely knew.

Don't get involved, James. Just don't.


Tears had fallen. Her attempts at trying to calm herself down were not working, and she could practically hear Steven yelling at her. Trying to persuade her to stay. He was the only one that she would ever need. That he didn’t mean to hit her, if she just listened to him he wouldn’t have to. If she just did as she was told everything would be fine. She couldn’t leave, he owned her. Restraining order can only last so long Lina. He’d told her six months ago when she’d gotten it put in place. She’d moved after that, and yet still he somehow knew where to find her at that airport.

James was stepping in front of her, her view of the ocean cut off by his chest and her eyes flicked up to his as she felt herself falling apart before him. Raw vulnerability showing in her tear filled eyes. He was apologizing, trying to say sorry for asking, it wasn’t his place. He took her hands and she squeezed them as she looked up into his eyes. Once again there was that familiarity with this near stranger that just made Lina feel safe. She’d intended to just tell him about her dad and be done with it. But there was now Steven and the panic attack she was entering. “It’s fine. I didn’t have to tell you. But I did. I wanted to.” She managed to say, swallowing the lump in her throat. I’m just going to leave you tomorrow, there’s no harm in just telling you this. We’re human, this shit happens. She thought.

His tone and the next question he asked was the final swing of that sledge hammer. The walls came crumbling down. The dark tone he used should have been Lina’s red flag to get the fuck out of there. To change the topic and just enjoy the rest of the day, but it had the opposite effect. “Restraining order. Divorced for a year.” She whispered, and then the dam really broke. She didn’t know the answer to the last one. She knew Elliot would do whatever it took to keep Steven away, but there was an ominese feel in the air when Steven had shown up at the airport. Her gut told her she wasn’t going to be safe for much longer.

“I-I don’t know.” The crack in her voice brought the sob out, and she let go of his hands to cover her face, while her shoulders shook. She did something then that would surprise the hell out of her later when she remembered what she did, but in that moment it felt as natural as breathing as she closed whatever distance was between her and James and rested her head on his chest and sobbed.


This shouldn't have happened.

When he saw the tears, it didn't make him feel any better. It made everything worse and he wished, more than anything, he could take it back. But he could wish that all he wanted and it wouldn't change this door he had opened. He learned something about this woman, about this stranger that he shouldn't have...and yet, he was glad for it. Was that wrong?

'I wanted to.' That made his brow furrow slightly. Why would she wish to tell him something this personal? Still, it had him studying her further; a gentle curiosity slowly beginning to replace the confusion. She had wanted to. He had wanted her to as well, it seemed. Not that it was making any of this easier, because what could he do? Was there anything he could logically do?

Would she want him to? That was a dangerous path to go around and a side to him he never wanted her to see. This shouldn't even be something he was contemplating, and yet, there he was... already calculating a possible next move.

It made him angry. It made him want to ask this man's name and handle it himself. They'd divorced and yet she still found the need for a restraining order...and those scenarios never ended well. All of these thoughts were swimming around in his head, making his blood boil, making him confused because he shouldn't be concerned about it. It frustrated him because...he was concerned, and barely knew why. Besides the fact he liked this woman enough to have asked in the first place. Despite the fact they met only yesterday although it didn't feel that way now.

When she pulled her hands away to cover her face, uttering that confession, James somehow knew this wasn't the end. How could he possibly let her walk away now, knowing this fear that lingered inside her? Because you have a job to do, and it doesn't involve her. You need to let this go and walk away. Distance yourself now.

'I-I don't know.' The words wouldn't stop echoing in his head. It only ceased when she was suddenly crashing into him, sobbing. The action startled him for a moment, his arms held out at his sides as he stood there stunned. After a moment, though, as if they moved on their own accord, his arms finally wrapped around her to secure her against his chest.

Why did he have to say anything? Why did he have to care? Because, now look what he'd done. James drew in a deep breath, letting it out slowly as he rested his head atop hers. "It's goin' to be fine," he finally spoke. Although that dark tone was gone, he still felt the rage inside. What was it about this woman that was making him jump to her rescue, barely without knowing much else about her? "I promise you." Don't make promises you can't keep. Especially this kind of promise.

As usual, James was ignoring the logical part of his brain as he leaned back, just enough to take her face into his hands. His thumbs brushed along her cheeks to wipe them free of tears. It was hard to keep the determination from his eyes, setting his lips into a firm line. He didn't understand why any man thought it necessary to hurt anyone. "It will be fine." Jay looked as though he was going to say something else, but he stopped himself. He couldn't tell her how it would be okay because then he'd have to share exactly what he was.

Trying not to sigh again, his expression softened and his gaze dropped in guilt. Even though she said it was okay...it didn't feel that way. "I shouldn't have said anythin'. What can I do to make that smile come back?" Besides what he really planned to do once he could find the man's name.

This wasn't how he wanted her to spend her last day here. He had to fix this.


Lina couldn’t remember the last time she cried. She supposed it was probably the day her and Steven were officially divorced. Those feelings of hopelessness, sadness, rejection, not being good enough, and apparently deserving of a shitty ass husband had all bubbled up and over. She’d had her tequila and that was all she needed that night. Right now? In that moment? She was crying for the unknown. Not knowing what she was going to go home to, and how it would make her feel. Elliot was picking her up from the airport so if Steven showed up she would be okay, but what about after?

James’s arms wrapped around her, she just cried harder. Maybe she was crying just to cry. You tended to feel better after a good cry session sometimes. His arms were secure, safe. There was that safe feeling, but more than that they felt right. That was a scary thought. A very scary thought. She couldn’t have those thoughts about James when she was leaving him tomorrow. But there was also a part of her telling her to fuck tomorrow, and focus on the now. He was there now. She was there now. Tomorrow was out of her control. But the present? That she could control. Steven wasn’t there. She was okay. She was safe.

She felt James take a deep sigh as his head rested on hers. She felt even more secure in those arms, especially when he told her everything was going to be okay. She had half a mind to believe him honestly, and slowly her sobs died off. Her body trembled a little less. His voice was smooth and calm like the ocean. Mellowing her out, easing her panicked soul, and all he had to do was tell her it would be okay. All he had to do was talk to her.

His hands were on her face then, making her look up at him and she blinked a few times. Looking up at him wide eyed, and probably a bit surprised that she wasn’t crying and soaking his shirt with her tears. His thumbs were rough feeling, but they touched her gently as he wiped away the tears, and she looked into those blue eyes that had so much determination in them she wondered what in the hell she’d just signed herself up for. She sniffed. Placing her hands lightly on his wrist while he held her face and she looked at him. It was a side to James she wasn’t used to seeing, but it was just as intense and still stirred something in her just like the others had.

“I know it will be.” She said in the quietest voice she didn’t even think he heard her. She’d believe anything he said in that moment quite honestly. His face softened then, and Lina slowly came back to reality and she shook her head slowly at him, though she couldn’t do much with him still holding her face. “It’s okay, James. Honestly I think I needed to talk about it. I’ve never spoken about it really. Sometimes talking about it can make you feel better.” She said softly. Slowly coming back into herself. She couldn’t tear her eyes from his if she wanted to in that moment. “I feel better about talking about my dad. I’m not ready for Steven yet, but I will be one day. I can only focus on the right here. The now. I’ll be fine. I’m okay.” She said. A slight smile coming back to her face. “Sometimes you just need to cry.” She whispered at him.

Lina rubbed her thumbs against the back of his wrist gently. “Honestly if you really want the smile back...Just be here.” She told him honestly. The man so far had made her smile more since knowing him then she had in months. He certainly had that way about him that just put her at ease and took her walls down. “This got really sad and depressing, we should do something else.” She began to laugh once she realized everything that happened.


None of this had been his intention. It had been done on impulse which was normally how he did things. And, oftentimes, things worked out just fine. He was still alive, after all. But this? This managed to feel wrong but right at the same time. He felt guilty and glad to somehow know this tragic secret of hers and, for whatever reason, thought he'd be able to fix it.

How the fuck did he expect to do that?

Seriously, where was his head at right now? Since when did he dive head first into another person's problems so quickly like this? Why was he unable to let it go or look away from those brown eyes that glittered with tears? Lina was telling him that it was alright, but it couldn't be. It wouldn't be until it was properly resolved, and he had no right to think that he should be the one resolving it. He had no right to want to.

His head was spinning as he stood there, still gently holding her face, feeling her fingers around his wrists. Wake up, James. This isn't the time to try and play hero. Then she said a name.

He now had a name.

Although Helina was beginning to smile a little, it would take him a bit while longer to ignore the guilt in order to do that same. It ate away at him because ruining this time with her was the last thing he wanted to do. 'Honestly if you really want the smile back...Just be here.' That brought him even more into the present again, finally lowering his hands from her face. He barely realized he had been holding her for that long and may have been embarrassed if that determination didn't linger still.

"Of course," he said quietly, a small smile curling his lips. He reached for one of her hands then and began to lead her further onto the beach. It was already far cooler with the sun nearly gone, and even more so closer to the water. James could forget that he nearly messed up the evening, or at least pretend to. "So, then, if you could do anythin' right now, what would it be?"


The moment he lowered his hands Lina realized how much she missed them, and wanted them right back. Which was ridiculous because they were just hands, but she missed his touch. Now she was just being weird.

He had a small smile on his face, but it wasn’t his usual bright one. Not the one that was the real heart stopper and now she wanted him to smile again. So, she smiled at him as he took her hand and they proceeded to walk further on the beach. The water was her desired destination. She hadn’t put her feet in the warm waters of the pacific in such a long time she couldn’t remember what it felt like. California and Alaska water were far different despite being the same ocean. In Alaska you could get hypothermia if you were in the water too long at certain times of the year.

At his question she pondered over it, and then it hit her seconds later. The water wasn’t that far off, just a few more feet before they reached wet sand. She glanced up at him arching her eyebrows before she stopped, released her hands and began to take her shoes and socks off. She put her socks in her shoes and rolled her pant legs up to her mid calves and then stuck her phone In one of her shoes. She straightened them, and that mischievous grin was on her face, as if those vulnerable moments, moments ago had never happened.

“If I could do anything right now it would be to dance.” She told him as she walked up to him. “I hope you don’t have two left feet.” She chuckled but gave him a look that said she was certainly serious. She wanted to dance, on the beach, with him. Because it was something carefree and happy, and didn’t take much thought. Their bodies would take care of the rest. And if he couldn’t dance he could just sway, it was simple as that.

Lina took both his hands in hers, and began to move them slowly side to side. “And if lack of music is your excuse to not dance, I got us covered.” She said with another glint in those brown eyes of hers. The ocean itself was pleasant to listen and move to. The roar of waves had its own song that acted as a lullaby for many, but Lina had plans. All she needed was his willingness to let go. And from the looks of things they were the only ones for some distance on the beach, and just like the waves...she wanted to dance.


This whole situation was strange and unusual. They were strangers that just met a day ago, and yet, it didn't entirely feel that way. Their meeting felt natural, as if their souls had met before and were simply trying to reconnect. Perhaps that was why he felt so strongly about protecting her. Or it was quite possible that he was just being a good human being, wanting to help another. Either way, he didn't often do this and he couldn't seem to stop it.

So then, it was his job to make her smile, to get her to forget that horror even for a few moments. It might be a little difficult when he himself wasn't smiling normally, but he'd get there once the guilt wasn't completely eating away at him. But James was at a bit of a loss with what to do- fortunately Lina seemed to have an idea.

She was stopping to remove her shoes and he looked at her in confusion. Maybe she was going to go stick her feet in the water? The mischief was back on her face though, and he was instantly realizing that wasn't going to be the case. Still, he slowly followed her lead in silence; kicking off those boots and setting his phone aside...which still had no messages. It was nothing but a black screen. Fuck them then, he currently had better things to do.

'If I could do anything right now it would be to dance.' Well, mocking Footloose was coming back to bite him in the ass now. She hadn't forgotten it. Jay looked at her with a slight dumbfounded expression when she approached, and he almost didn't know how to react. It was silly, wasn't it? Though, everything they've done since could be deemed the same.

When she took his hands and began to sway, the smile on his face finally cracked more and he chuckled. He was just about to say they had no music, and their phones were in their shoes, but apparently she had some other idea. All she needed was his willingness to let go, and that seemed to be something he was a little hesitant on.

For only a moment longer, that is. Looking like he was contemplating the whole thing, like he was about to deny her this silly request, James stepped even closer; one hand slipping from hers to slowly travel up the length of her arm then down her side. His arm was wrapping around her waist to pull her closer as her other hand was still held within his. Then he waited for whatever she seemed to have planned; swaying ever so slowly in place with her against him.


There was a brief moment where Lina didn’t think James would comply with what she wanted. He had chuckled but probably due to the silliness of the thought of them dancing on a beach. The contemplated look he gave her made her think he was going to say no. That they should collect shells or something, or just get their feet wet. But then he was stepping closer, and sliding his hand slowly down her arm and her side before wrapping around her waist and she was pulled closer.

She grinned widely at him, before she began to hum. Resting her hand on his shoulder and feeling the softness of his t-shirt. She started humming the intro to a song that had been drilled into her since she’d come to live with Elliot. The man had a thing for his irish folk songs, and not only that, he’d liked to sing on his fishing boat as it helped pass the time. And once he learned that Helina could sing just like her mama, he’d made sure to teach her all his favorite songs that had quickly become hers as well.

“In a neat little town they called Belfast...Apprentice to trade I was bound...And many an hour's sweet happiness...Have I spent in that neat little town….” She began to sing softly. She was looking up at James with that mischievous smile of hers, encouraging him to sway a bit more in tune with the song as she continued to sing softly. “As sad misfortune came over me which caused me to stray from the land...Far away from me friends and relations...Betrayed by the black velvet band…”

Even if this was silly, she was grinning and that was all that should matter. He couldn't take back that foolish question he had asked, so he was going to do anything to ensure she wasn't crying again. It was the very least he could do.

For now.

When she began to hum, James was immediately trying to recall the tune. He was fairly certain he knew it, it was at the tip of his tongue. Then, as Lina actually began to sing it, a memory was washing over him. Elliot, one of the few he had met and actually respected from the agency often liked to sing these folk songs. A couple of them had some heritage in Scotland as well as Ireland (such as The Parting Glass) but this wee tune was completely Irish. And yet, as she would get to the chorus part, she'd hear him softly humming along with her. He dare not try and sing and ruin the moment- the only time he ever dared to sing anything was when he had a few drinks in him already. And when it was a fast paced sea shanty or folksong, he wasn't in as much danger of making people's ears bleed.

That, and he much rather listen to her, changing their light dancing sway to match the beat and pace of the song. Her eyes, they shone like diamonds...I thought her the queen of the land… As the tune picked up just a little bit, he was perhaps softly hinting at the fact that maybe...just maybe...he kind of knew what he was doing. James would never claim to know how to lead a woman in some professionally danced tango, but he was proficient enough to lead her in that light stepping waltz; turning them in place before gently spinning her out only to draw her back in. It was only a taste, and he was nowhere near Swayze level. Because, c’mon, who really was?

He was supposed to be doing this to cheer up, because she had requested it. But the truth of the matter was, she was surprising him again and making it very easy to forget himself. Forgetting what he was waiting for and the kind of job he would need to do at any moment. Yet, for right now, he grinned from ear to ear; lifting her up briefly into the air to spin her around without any other care in the damn world.


The outside world faded away and it was just James and Lina there on the beach, singing and dancing away. Nothing else mattered in those moments but what was happening then and now, and it was blissful, as it was beautiful. When James began to hum along with her, she was pleasantly surprised he might know the song, which just made her grin even more.

As she reached the chorus their dancing began to match the beat and she lost herself in the song, and the way their bodies moved as one. As if they’d already done this a hundred times and just knew how the other moved. “I took a stroll with this pretty fair maid….And a gentleman passing us by….Well, I knew she meant the doing of him...By the look in her roguish black eye...” Lina sang as James spun her out, and she came back to him. The dancing was simple and sweet and they didn’t have to be expert dancers to do these simple movements. Lina was perfectly content, especially when she got that smile of his back on his face. Mission accomplished. She thought, before she was giggling as he picked her up and spun her around. Her mood from before was certainly back, and it was as if she hadn’t just admitted to him some very personal things that she had gone through minutes ago.

When she came back down and her feet hit the sand, Lina closed the distance between them even more, her hand on his shoulder had moved so it was now on a shoulder blade as she rested her cheek on his shoulder. Their bodies pressed together as they waltzed, and she continued to sing their music.


Was this what normalcy was? When you didn’t have to worry about your next job, where it would take you, if it would be your last? When the biggest problem was trying to make someone smile, or worrying that strangers would catch glimpses of you dancing around on a beach and wonder if you were insane? Not that he cared about that last part, but he also knew if others had been wondering, he wasn’t about to see any of them again so it didn’t matter.

Just like he wasn’t going to see Helina much after this night, maybe not at all.

He was remembering this when she leaned in to rest her head against his shoulder, his arm instinctively wrapping back around her waist as if he’d done it numerous times before. The idea struck him harder than it had before, and it bothered him. It annoyed him that it bothered him. Was it too weird that you could have such a connection with another person after only knowing them a day? Was this just some strange fluke, or two lonely hearts simply reaching out to each other for some sort of comfort and no obligation? The fact that he couldn’t answer his own silent inquiry was bothering him even more, and he refrained from letting out a sigh of frustration. This was precisely why getting too close or attached was a bad idea for him. He couldn’t afford it, he couldn’t let it grow anymore than that.

James held her until the song ended, where the waltz eventually turned into more of a gentle swaying in place. He almost glanced down at his watch to see what time it was...but he didn’t want to. He didn’t even glance over to where their shoes and phones were because he didn’t want to think about any of that. All he wanted to do was ask her to keep singing so that he could remain there with her until he was too tired to stand, just so that he could continue listening to her lovely voice.

“Lina…” he finally said, breaking the brief silence that had fallen between them. Truthfully, he wasn’t sure what he was about to say. Maybe he was going to say something completely and utterly stupid that would ruin everything. He should be finishing this off with how he had to leave and let this simple and comfortable moment just die where they stood. He should have been doing and saying a lot of things, but couldn’t bring himself to do it.

Instead, he was going to probably make things even harder than he should.

“I...need you to prepare yerself.” James sounded deadly serious as he slowly urged her head up off his shoulder so that he could take a step back. He was saying nothing else as he turned to walk back to his shoes, crouching down for his cell. Holding up his pointer finger, as if asking her to give him a moment, he was scrolling through something on the screen. It took a little longer than he had wanted, but his lips pressed together which made it clear how much he was struggling not to laugh. Turning the volume up as high as it would go, he was finally tossing it aside to quickly rush back towards her...except, he was veering to the right to put a good distance between them.

Just when she was probably about to question what the fuck he was even doing, she’d hear Bill Medley’s iconic voice begin to drone from his cell phone speakers. ‘Now I’ve...had...the time of my life…’ Oh yeah. He’d done it. And he was still trying so hard not to laugh, unable to even fathom why he was being this ridiculous. The only logical explanation was to keep that smile on her face. And one finally spread across his own.

“Alright, lass...let’s have it. C’mon.” Jay rolled his shoulders, preparing himself. Now, he’d never done this before, but...there was a first time for everything, and how hard could it be to lift a lithe thing above his head?


Lina was content to just keep swaying there even as the song ended, because it just felt right. She sighed against him, breathing in the smell of his shirt, while she closed her eyes briefly and listened to the sound of the waves. Just wishing to be frozen in time forever in that moment.

James broke the silence with her name, and she almost froze, afraid of the moment being ruined by reality. She frowned in confusion then as she raised her head to look at him. “Prepare for what?” She asked slowly. He sounded serious, was he going to tell her something? Tell her they should head back now, and that he was done? No more? There was going to be no more...whatever this was? He was letting her go, and she watched as he went to their shoes and crouched down.

For a moment her heart sputtered because she believed for a second reality was back and he was leaving. She stared at as back as he seemed to be doing something, and she soon realized he was doing something on his phone. That all too familiar tune began to play, and Lina’s mouth parted in shock. He was kidding, right? But he’d told her to prepare herself! He sounded so serious! He-nooo. But the song began to play and Lina covered her mouth with her hands as she began to laugh. It started out as a small chuckle before she was practically bent over. He was doing the Swayze.

“You’re serious?!” She called to him. Shaking her head in disbelief as she laughed again. Well, at least there’s a doc on stand by. She thought. “I don’t want to hear any complaints if this fails you hear! You wanted this.” She made sure to tell him as she began to back up so she could get her running start. Was she going to do this? Would she pull a Jennifer Grey? Hell. Yes. Purely out of the carefreeness, and to prove a freaking point. Swayze knew what he was doing.

She shook her head with a sigh and grinned. “Ready?” She called. She waited a good second, taking a deep breath and preparing herself. She counted to three, mouthing her count down to herself, before she ran at James, and then threw herself in the air. Hoping he would catch her. On the bright side, if they fell into a giant heap she’d have sand to break her fall.


“I’m dead serious,” he answered back. Oh, sure, this was probably insane, but she had basically challenged him...and although they hadn’t known each other very long, she should at least know by now that he was going to follow through on whatever bet or challenge was thrown his way. It was just in his nature. No matter how obscure or ridiculous it was. She had blatantly dared him to be Swayze...so now she was getting Swayze.

Alright, not quite, but he seemed pretty confident. He was a secret agent for fuck’s sake. He had this.

James became even more confident when she started to laugh. That was what he had wanted, mostly, to see that big smile again. Even if this wound up failing miserably and he got a face full of sand, at least she had smiled again. At least he had made her smile. “Oh yes, I want this. I got this.” He sounded pretty damn confident. Fingers were bending in a come hither kind of way before he was further preparing himself for the madness that was inevitably about to happen.

Would this have been easier if he was drunk? Maybe.

He gave her a firm nod when she asked if he was ready, refraining from telling her that he kind of wasn’t. Nevertheless, he let out a laugh when Helina began to run towards him and he had to force himself not to panic. That damn song was still playing but he had tuned it out seconds ago, only watching her swift approach. When she leapt into the air, he was quick to catch her; hands against her stomach as he used her momentum to lift her straight up above him. He staggered back a couple steps but righted himself.

And this lasted for all of three seconds.

“...fuck,” he murmured, feeling her wobble, his footing staggering again and he knew this wasn’t going to last another moment longer. James tried to fix it but felt her begin to tip, his arms unable to hold her up while he felt himself beginning to fall over. Another curse fled his lips, trying to lower her safely down before he was tripping back and collapsing down to the sand.


Well, at least he’d caught her. Lina had held her arms out in front of her, just like Grey had done, and for three split seconds James had done the Swayze. That is until she felt herself tipping, and James was staggering. She felt him try to adjust his hold but it wasn’t working. “James?!” She did a shriek laugh as the ground was getting close and fast. He was going down, and taking her with him.

James managed to lower her enough she didn’t completely faceplant, but she did land on top of him with a giant oof, as they both hit the ground, and sand sprayed. Her hair clip had gotten knocked loose and her hair tumbled down around her shoulders in waves. For a moment she just laid there, trying to gain her bearing before she began to laugh as she sat up. Her hands on either side of his head. “You did the Swazye.” She said in disbelief as she looked down at him. “You did the goddamn Swayze.” She burst into laughter, before she reached over and gently touched his forehead. “Are you okay? No head injuries or anything of that sort? You kind of broke my fall.” She bit her bottom lip, trying to stop laughing at the ridiculousness of all this. What did passerby’s think? That they were a couple of loons? Probably. At least they were entertaining if anything else.

Slowly Lina began to realize the position they were in, and it registered in her brain how onlookers might take them. Especially now that her hair had fallen out of his clip and was hanging down over a shoulder acting like a long curtain as it shielded half his face from view, and she was essentially sitting on the lower half of his stomach. Slowly her face began to soften and the smile she had began to fade as she continued to look down at him while biting her lip.

With the fading sunlight, James's eyes had lost their brightness. Right now they looked like dark grey storm clouds with the fading light, but they still hadn’t lost their beautifulness. His mother’s eyes. Well, they might have been his mothers, but they were also his, and if she wasn’t careful she’d continue to stare into them. He’d casted that damn spell again. Or maybe it was the Swayze. The two of them were the closest they’d been physically by far. At least their faces, and in that moment Lina felt like she’d been electrocuted as she was reminded how handsome James actually was, and she could see he had a light dusting of freckles on his nose, which...were pretty stinking cute. She was growing hyper aware and in that moment she could only think of one thing. Oh yeah. The Swayze works. That was thought enough to remind her that she was leaving tomorrow and James was just trying to cheer her up. He didn’t have the same feelings, despite how much she was growing to like him. She was leaving. End of story.

“Didn’t break anything did you?” She asked with a small smile as her cheeks began to turn a bit red and tucked her hair behind her ears as she sat up, rolling off of him. She wasn’t going there, nope. Despite how much she might want it, which scared the hell out of her, she wasn’t doing it.


Yes, at least he had caught her. Even if it nearly knocked the wind from his lungs when it came to a very abrupt end. Then again, there were worse things. Once he had his breath back and he wasn’t laughing at the idiocy of this whole thing, he was quicker to notice the predicament they found themselves in. “I sort of did the Swayze,” he said in amusement, his hands still settled upon her hips.

Lina was talking again, her touch at his forehead, and he was struggling to focus. Not because he had hit his head or anything, but he was becoming distracted. With her hair tumbling over her shoulders, he caught the scent of her shampoo mixed with the salty air drifting in from the ocean beside them. One of his hands finally moved to sweep the dark strands aside as a few gently brushed against his cheek; his thumb lingering too long across her cheekbone before he could realize what he was doing. What he was beginning to think about doing.

Don’t go there, mate. Just don’t. You can’t.

But he nearly lost it when something dawned on her as well- her face changed and she was biting her lip. Damn, the Swayze move really did work, didn’t it? And not just on her. He should have known better, but he let his brazenness take hold...and look where that got them. In a very pleasant but awkward position, no pun intended. Still, he didn’t speak or move, letting those bright eyes drop to her mouth for the briefest of moments; his fingers subconsciously curling lightly into her hip. The woman was beautiful. He had always realized it but didn’t let himself dwell on it. That part of his brain turned off because he couldn’t get attached. So why wouldn’t it stay turned off right now? Why couldn’t he make himself go into “agent mode” and just survive the next few hours without having any wrong, indecent thoughts?

Thank God she had the right mind and sense to get up, because he was just seconds away from probably ruining this entire thing. James hadn’t realized that he was holding his breath, that his heart had been pounding from more than just exertion, and he was slow to sit up once she got off him. And now, as he ran a hand through his hair to try and rid it of sand, he couldn’t even look at her. “No, I’m fine,” he answered her, trying to keep the humor in his tone so as to prove that everything was fine. He couldn’t even tell if he succeeded, but everything was fine, right?

Fuck.

No, he had to fix this. Getting himself up to a knee, aware he was probably still covered in sand, he turned those blue eyes back over to her as a smirk curled up the corner of his mouth. “There isn’t a dare I won’t do, love. Best you remember that.” James paused, only for his mouth to run off before his brain could stop him. “Because I know that worked.” Whatever, man, it’s your damn funeral.


Lina plopped onto her butt, picking her clip up and holding it between her teeth as she went to work on putting it back up and getting it out of her face. Her hair was rather long, falling to the middle of her back. She often contemplated getting it cut shorter to take some of the weight off. Maybe she would this time once she got home. She tried to distract herself, but found her eyes looking up at James as he rose to his knees, and spoke.

She chuckled and shook her head until the next thing came out of his mouth. She had to pick her jaw up out of the sand. Her clip fell from her mouth as her jaw went slack and she fumbled to catch it. “What worked?” She asked. Playing coy and like she didn’t have any idea what he was talking about. Your goddamn right it worked James Bishop… Don’t you ever doubt me again. She wanted to say, but that was a type of boldness she wasn’t sure she was ready for.

She averted her eyes and quickly put her hair back up, and then hopped to her feet. She didn’t want to think about what the Swayze had caused between them. That sudden friction and tension. That want, need, and desire. It was just asking for trouble. There was something there, and she was almost too afraid to pursue it. Just because she was afraid of what she would feel like after. Already she knew saying goodbye was going to hurt. And leaving tomorrow was going to hurt even more. Add a kiss, or a make out session or more in and she didn’t know what would come from that.

She looked out at the water, and then down at James, needing some other distraction, something else to get rid of that mood. They needed to cool off. “You know James, I think you need to get your head out of the sand and go cool off.” She said with a mischievous grin. “Race you to the water!” She reached down and pushed him over then, before she went sprinting to the ocean.


All he had to do was stop thinking about it. Of course, that was a little difficult because every time he looked at her now, he was going to remember it. The way her eyes had lit up in amusement, how her dark hair had framed her face, the way she bit her lip. Maybe if he just remained there in the sand she’d eventually forget about him and he could just...slowly move on.

But no, he had to open his dumb mouth again, and Lina’s demure act wasn’t working on him. He had seen what had happened. He had felt it, and he was struggling to let go of it. “Uh huh…” he just murmured, beginning to dust the sand off his back as much as he could.

She was already getting up to her feet, changing the topic (like he should have done to begin with) but he was only half paying attention. Glancing up to her as he was beginning to stand, she was shoving him before running off, issuing another race. “Hey!” He braced himself on a hand, not falling completely, so he was able to spring right into a sprint.

And if she didn’t remember from yesterday, he was quick. James was gaining on her swiftly as she rushed towards the water, and he wasn’t sure if she had any intention of actually going in but she had said he needed to cool off, no? He was reaching for her hand to slow her down, just enough to swing her back towards him. Dipping, he was easily throwing her over his shoulder and securing her there so that she wouldn’t fall...even as he began to walk quickly towards the waves. “A swim sounds like a brilliant idea!” he declared. He hoped she didn’t really care about whatever she was wearing, because he was already about to trudge knee deep into the sea, and he was taking her with him.


Oh she knew he was quick, which was why she was running frantically, and had shoved him over. Even still, he had caught her and she was already a giggling mess, trying to squirm out of his way. He grabbed her hand though and was pulling her towards him, and it was at that moment Lina knew she was going to be in trouble for the rest of the night, if not more whenever this man was around. He spoke to her soul like no one else had, and he was going to be her undoing.

Her eyes went wide as he bent and tossed her over his shoulder. “No!” She said through a fit of giggles. She braced her hands on the small of his back, and had a very nice view of his rear she could look at with no shame. “James, no!” She tried to say, but she was laughing too hard. “Put me down!” She kicked her feet lightly, and his declaration just had her laughing more. “That’s not what I meant! You damn Scot!” She shrieked as she felt the first spray of the water, and she could see that James was already knee deep in it.

The wave came from out of nowhere then, crashing into them, and the water was certainly warm, so that was a bonus but she still got a face full of sea water, and she was half soaked. At least her phone hadn’t been in her pocket. “James!” She scolded, but it was hard to scold him while she was laughing. This boy. She thought. He was going to be the death of her, in more ways than one. Her attempts at chasing away the previous mood had certainly worked, but she wondered if it backfired in her face as she was now very wet, and had somehow ended up back in his arms one way or another. At least the sand was now washed off she supposed.


She kept laughing, so he kept moving deeper into the water, even if she was telling him to put her down. It didn’t sound very convincing, and although wearing soaked jeans wasn’t ideal, there was no stopping him now.

“I’m sorry, what? I can’t hear you!” he called out over the sound of the water, the grin clear across his face although she couldn’t see it. “This is what you meant?” James was only slowing down when the water was making it harder to move. If she was half soaked, he was basically completely soaked through as the waves crashed against them and the water was above his knees now.

The ocean wasn’t terribly rough, at least, but the waves were threatening to try and knock him off balance. And with her dangling over his shoulder, he was surprised he hadn’t lost his footing yet. James began to lower her off, seeming as though she was going to get out of this only half soaked, yet the moment her feet touched the sandy floor his arm was wrapping around her waist and securing her back against him...just as a wave came barreling towards them.

“I’m not sorry!” he confessed amid maniacal laughter, as if he was expecting her to beat the shit out of him after this. Before anything more could be said, the water crashed into them and he went down.


“This is not what I meant!” She hollered as another wave hit them, causing her to shriek. She was being lowered and for a split second Lina thought about wrapping her legs around him and holding tight like a monkey so he couldn’t set her down in the water. But she thought against it. She was a giggling mess, if she did that she didn’t want to give her heart more reasons to hurt tomorrow.

Her feet touched the sand and she looked around at the water that was up to her thighs. James wrapped an arm around her waist, holding her against him. “James!” She scolded again when he said he wasn’t sorry and instead just laughed maniacally. As if he’d planned this all along. It was hard to stay mad at him when he was grinning and laughing like that. She had said they needed to cool off. She was shaking her head at him, looking the part of the mad woman to his madman when the wave hit and she shrieked, Clinging to James as the two of them were knocked over.

Lina was able to hold her breath just in time as she went under, feeling the waves roll over her and James in a gentle motion. She wrapped her arms around his neck and when they breached the water she looked like a sheep dog with her hair hanging in her face. Having been knocked from its clip again, she had no idea where it went. She used her hands to part it, running a hand then down her face to clear water, as she struggled to stand up again. “Ja-ames” she said his name yet again. “This. isn’t. What. I. Meant!” She used both hands to smack him lightly in the shoulders, trying to be serious, and failing as she laughed at the end. Oh who was she kidding? Maybe she had meant this and he just had more bravery than she did to toss them both into the ocean. “You're impossible! We’re soaked!” She tried to scold him, but just kept laughing.


Perhaps he just really needed this. He had been starting to lose himself, and that wasn’t something he could afford. It was dangerous, especially when he was still supposed to be “on the job”. James had wanted to throw all logic away for a few moments back there, knowing it would only end in disappointment and pain. He couldn’t do it...and he couldn’t do that to her. If she even wanted him to.

His mind was a jumbled mess despite the refreshing ocean water. It hadn’t done much to clear his head as much as he had wanted it to but he had to do something before he fell into that trap again.

Meaning, the trap he was finding himself in again already? Yeah, that one. Where was his logic today?

James made sure to bring her up to the surface with him, although they weren’t very deep; the waves were just a little relentless in wanting to knock them down again. But he stood strong against them once he found his footing, holding her steady as she tried to rid her face of the sopping wet tresses and water. Then she was hitting him which only further made him laugh in pure amusement of it all. “It simply had to happen,” he told her with a shrug, as though it was so very obvious.

What truly was obvious was that he had made this entire situation far worse for himself. Her laughter was a joy to hear, her smile was infectious, and she might have thought she looked like a wet shaggy dog, but she was far from it. James caught himself reaching up too late to stop himself, further brushing the soaked strands of hair from her face, still blinking away the droplets as they fell on his own because he hadn’t bothered to shake the water away. He allowed himself this one brief moment to be transfixed by the mere presence of her before another wave threatened to barrel them over again.

Was nature trying to knock some fucking sense into him, too?

The look on his face softened a little then before he sighed; running a hand through his hair as he drew her to his side with the other. “Guess we shouldn’t just stand here, huh?” he stated, trudging them back towards the shore. Fortunately his watch was waterproof and he caught a glimpse of the time as they walked. Not quite midnight, but James was thinking he’d have to let her go sooner. It was for the best, he kept telling himself. “Maybe I should just get you back.” He hadn’t intended to say that thought out loud, but trying to hide it now would make it worse.

Once they were out of the water, he slowly and reluctantly let her go. He had to remind himself that she was leaving, and even if she wasn’t, what right did he have to any of this? Any of these thoughts? He couldn’t commit to anyone in any fashion because his life was a constant question mark. Even deserving it was a whole other matter.


“It simply had to happen,” she mocked him for a moment, “My ass.” She laughed. She tried so hard to look and appear mad, but the truth was she wasn’t. In fact she was glad he’d done it. It was another good memory she’d have of him, and to remember this trip by.

Her laughter slowly died off as she looked up at him and he moved wet strands of her hair away from her face, and there was that feeling again. That feeling she’d had while sitting on him after they’d fallen in a sandy heap. Her brown eyes searched his in silent curiosity. What are you thinking, James Bishop, and am I going to like what’s going on in that head of yours? She thought. The wave hit into them, reminding them they were still in the water and that it was getting very dark, and you didn’t want to be in the ocean at dark.

His face softened and then the moment was gone as he ran his hand through his hair, it stuck up in spikey angles and he moved her to his side. “Probably a smart idea.” She said with a small smile before they began to trudge back to the shore. She clenched her jaw at what he said next. Ah yes. The hotel, their time was ticking. They couldn’t stay here, and she was leaving. Tomorrow. Her heart clenched and she forced herself to pretend that everything was fine. Nothing was wrong. Everything would be fine. It had to be this way. It had to. “Well, that would probably be best considering that’s where the dry clothes are.” She smirked, trying to make light of the situation, but she could already feel the heartache. Why did a stranger make her ache this much? Was their connection really that strong? Was it really that possible to have these feelings after only meeting him yesterday? Why did it feel like her soul was going, oh, it’s you again. You found me.

Once they were finally out of the water, Lina began to wring her hair out, feeling the water slide down with her hand. She took the hem of her shirt and began to wring it out as well, the wet cotton clung to her skin and she could only imagine how much of a drowned rat she looked like. Hopefully the walk back would help dry them out a bit. “At least the socks are dry.” She sighed. Nothing was worse than wet socks. She couldn’t bare to look at James as they walked back to the shoes. She knew there would be nothing but a pang of hurt and want, and she didn’t think she could bare it. Once they reached the shoes she used one of her socks to wiped her foot off and rid it as much sand as possible before she pulled it on, balancing on one foot while she slipped her foot into her shoe. She kept having to tuck her hair behind her ears, but she managed to get both shoes back on. At least her feet were dry.

She checked her phone and 10:00 shined up at her. Was it really that late already? Two more hours…. two more hours that probably weren’t going to happen. She saw she had a missed call, and went to check it. Thinking it had been Marie or Elliot. Instead it was a number she didn’t recognize. They’d left a voicemail and she held it up to her ear to listen. “Helina, I need you to call me immediately, it’s-“ she hung up. Nope. Nope nope nope, not going there Steven. How had he gotten her new number? She didn’t like it, and let a deep breath out. No, she wasn’t going to think about him. She’d cried over him once already today. James had told her it would be okay. She would be okay. She had two hours left with James, he was important. She was taking whatever time he would give her. “You ready to head back?” She asked, finally daring to glance at him to see if he was ready.


Now, he had to pretend that everything was completely okay. Everything was fine. It should be, honestly, because James was used to forbidding himself many things, anything normal that had the potential to be more. He wasn’t allowed these simple but enjoyable things, not if he wanted to keep a level head, keep his mind in the game. ACIS just proved that they could drop him into a mission at any moment, and just because they were dragging their feet right now didn’t mean it wasn’t going to happen. And what did he expect? That Helina would just wait for him, for however long and not ask questions?

Whoa, dude, slow down. It’s been a fucking day.

That was why this was so confusing and hard. He didn’t understand it because it wasn’t normal, because it didn’t make sense. None of it did. Yet, when he looked at her- sodden or not- James had this incredible feeling of what a home could be like. And the idea was scaring him. Perhaps he had finally just hit that point in his life where he should be worrying and thinking about such things...but no, he wasn’t allowed to. The man was having a real hard time remembering that stupid fact apparently.

Grinning lightly at her attempts to keep things light, he moved to his shoes to put them on as well. Another glance at his phone, he realized there still were no messages. Honestly, there absolutely no messages from anybody, not even his family...and that caused a strange pang in his heart. He wondered how much longer they would tolerate his distancing and random disappearances. Maybe he would completely lose them as well. These thoughts brought him to a silent pause before he drifted back into reality, bending to tie the laces of his boots.

Attention flickered to her briefly as she listened to the missed voice message. He thought he could hear the faint voice on the other line before she was abruptly hanging it up, but he couldn’t make any of it out. Not that it was any of his business, either. Perhaps it was just a wrong number? Something felt off, though, and yet he didn’t ask.

He’d already looked away by the time she glanced his way, but her words had him averting his attention back over to her again; his smile faint as he nodded. “Yeah, sure.” In truth, he didn’t want to walk around in soaked jeans, but he thought about it anyway, if only to spend the last two hours with her. But it would be better to get her back to the hotel so she could get warm and dry and move on. So, he shoved his hands into his front pockets and set his gaze ahead as they walked. “So...what time do you leave?” It was just a question, right? He was just trying to keep the conversation going and keep it easy.

But that wasn’t easy. It felt wrong to ask it.


Helina felt like she was doing a walk of shame, or more like a walk of dread. She didn’t want to go to the hotel. The hotel was where they’d part ways for the night and probably forever. She was having weird thoughts, very weird strange thoughts about James. He moved a lot, Steven had moved a lot, and she knew she didn’t want to have to go through that again. The heartache of missing him, of feeling lonely. She’d done it before already and it was not a nice feeling, especially when Steven was home and still ignored her. Was she not wanted? Ever wanted? And then the lying had started and she knew Steven was lying to her. There was more to work than just boring executive meetings. She wasn’t dumb. Why was she having those thoughts though? Why did she suddenly just know James would be different? That when he was home he wouldn’t want to be five minutes let alone five feet from her? That he’d give her his full attention? Why in the hell was she having thoughts about starting a relationship with a man she’d just met yesterday? Because of that stupid feeling. A voice told her.

Fuck feelings.

His question drew her out of her mind and she glanced back up at him as they walked. Her heart did that stupid clenching thing again. And began to pound, while her stomach did a flip. “I technically leave the day after tomorrow, but it’s at a god awful hour.” She explained quietly. Averting her eyes to watch in front of her. “I need to be at the airport by 11.” She said. So, if she wanted to get real technical she had all day tomorrow. Well, part of the day at least. Checkout was at noon and then she’d have to kill time in an airport for several hours. “I’m leaving after my last seminar in the morning.” She sighed. Which was at 8, and ending at 10. Thinking about all the technicalities of flights and travel was going to give her a headache. But she’d suck it up. She had a book, she’d be fine. Right?

She didn’t know what to say after that, and honestly she had felt the mood shift to become more awkward. No, not awkward, sad. It felt sad. Despite all the fun they’d had the last two days, knowing it was going to end was just depressing. “I’ll keep my fingers crossed work gives you something to do here soon.” She murmured, a small smile appearing on her face as she glanced up at him.


Awkward and strange had been the feeling from before. But now? Yes, this was sad. When it made little sense for it to be that way. To be quite honest, a lot of things just weren’t making sense, and no matter how many times he tried to figure out why and what was happening, he never came up with an answer. What he had to do was let it go. You know, like the song from that fucking Disney movie he couldn’t stand.

James still kept his attention forward, but would nod every so often to acknowledge that he was listening. She technically had a whole other day. He wished he hadn’t heard that. Did she really have to be at the airport so early if her flight was so late? Did she have to go to some stupid seminar in the morning?

Don’t do it, James. His mind kept telling him. He knew where he was ending up, and it wasn’t good. Any more time would just make this all that much harder, would just give him more of this ridiculous feeling of pining for a person he hardly knew. Really, he was getting old, or it was some early mid-life crisis. Did men have biological clocks, was that a thing? Yes, this was all that it was. Simple and innocent and because he enjoyed his time with her. She didn’t nag on him, didn’t question him about things she shouldn't. She was beautiful and funny and wasn’t afraid to throw his jokes right back at him. Wasn't afraid of a bet or challenge. Lina knew how to go with the flow and enjoy life in the moment. Not many people could do that, and it was refreshing. It was inspiring, and that had to be why he craved it. Craved more time with her. No matter how down on himself he got, he was still human.

“Yikes, red eye flight, huh?” Those were always the worst, but it was mainly what he flew now. It was easier and safer in his line of work. But the fact that she had to be out by noon, when checkout was, it was going to make her day extra long. His mouth opened as though he were going to say something else, but for the first time since his mind was screaming at him to shut up, he finally listened and said nothing. Why make it harder on himself? Maybe she wanted to get back to her room and just be done with it all. ‘I’m leaving after my last seminar in the morning.’ His jaws clenched and he still refrained from saying anything about it while they walked; the hotel looming in the near distance.

He glanced at her briefly when she mentioned his work. “Heh, I certainly hope so. I might go out of my mind if I need to remain in this damn sunny state for much longer.” Wasn’t that the truth. He had this incredible ache to go home now, but he wasn’t sure if that would even be possible any time soon. What was this job the agency was holding him for? What could be so important in San Diego?

Not knowing what else to say, he let the silence linger as they stepped back into the hotel. The AC made him shiver briefly, seeing as how he was still soaking wet, and he didn’t even care that people were staring. James just casually made his way to the elevator this time (knowing she probably wouldn’t take the stairs) and pressed the button. The whole time he waited for the damn thing to come down, he was trying to think of what to say, how to say goodbye and was blanking. As the doors opened, he waited for her to step inside before he followed suit.


Lina’s smile grew a little more as he responded. “Well you have the all seeing one to keep you company.” She said softly. Thinking of that silly unicorn made her bite her lip again, thinking of yesterday. Why was she doing this to herself? Why had she done this to herself? You should have stayed on that bar stool Lina. You should have never followed after him. She told herself. It was going to hurt. A lot. She knew it, and as they entered the Hotel she wrapped her arms around herself to keep from shivering. A hot shower would definitely be in order, not only to warm her up, but to also hopefully make her feel better. She was going to need a nice long and hot shower.

She ignored the stares from those that were still lingering, around in the lobby. At least her shoes weren’t wet or they’d probably squeak along the linoleum. She didn’t say anything as James followed her into the elevator, and she stared at the looming second floor button. How much longer did she have? Two minutes? A minute? Maybe three tops if they spoke outside her door? Her heart was beating rapidly, and her breath was quickening. There had to be another excuse. Something else she could use to keep them there. To make it so they could spend just a little more time together. Her mind was scrambling but coming up with nothing. He’d fulfilled her wish, at least partially. Two more hours though and it was all over. The clock would strike midnight, and she’d be back into a pumpkin. The fairytale would be over. James would be gone. She jammed her finger into the button maybe a little too forcibly.

She crossed her arms back over her chest, looking up at the floor counter. She couldn’t look at him. Already she could feel herself fighting the need to cry, and it was stupid. This whole thing was stupid. They were friends. New friends. Who met yesterday. She didn’t need to cry over him. He had her number. He had her number. Her chest constricted with the thought and she wondered if he would text her when she was gone. No, probably not. They were friends. He was killing time. That’s all she was, something to kill time while he waited for his work to get back to him. She was leaving tomorrow.

The doors opened, and Lina blinked for a moment, before she slowly stepped out and began the walk to their rooms. The distance slowly getting shorter and shorter with each step. “Thanks...For today.” She said softly looking down at her feet. Her nails dug into her arms. She began to pull her key card out, and let a slow breath out. Alright Lina you can do this. You can say goodbye. Her heart was fit to burst as her door finally showed up, and she came to a stop. The moment of truth… She turned to face him, taking another deep breath before she raised her head to look up at him. “Thanks for dragging me out of that bar yesterday, and for today. Seriously, I had a lot of fun.” She smiled at him. Everything was okay, it was fine. You can do this. She coached herself despite the fact she felt herself breaking with each passing moment. She lifted her arm up and pinched her shirt sleeve holding the wet fabric up. “Maybe a little too much fun.” She chuckled. She lowered her arm and let herself look into those bright blue eyes of his one more time. One more look at those beautiful blue eyes.

It was a mistake. She shouldn’t have looked. She felt her soul begin to break at the thought of parting with him, but they had to. He had work and she had to get back to work in Alaska. It just had to be. “It was nice meeting you James.” She told him softly. She reached behind her and unlocked her door, pushing it open. Now turn and go. Turn and close the door. She ordered, but she hesitated, and averted her eyes. “You made this vacation fun.” She smirked lightly. The lump was beginning to form in her throat, and she realized she couldn’t stand there anymore. She needed to go. Any more standing there and she wouldn’t move. “I’m gonna-” She pointed into her room, implying she was going to go now. Yes, good job Lina, you can do it. She took a step back, however she paused. Her mind was racing, and apparently she had one last bit of brazeness in her left. She took another step forward, and then another, until she stood up on her tiptoes and placed a quick kiss on his cheek. “Goodbye James.” She sighed out in a hurry, giving him one more smile before she essentially fled into her room, closing the door with a deafening click.


Even after having basically no chill since the moment he met her, James was somehow holding himself together fairly well in that deafeningly quiet elevator ride. On the outside, at least. But he should be used to this kind of thing by now. He should be used to letting go and moving on, and yet, it was angering him that he actually had to this time. His teeth were going to be sore with how tightly he was clenching his jaws.

He willed himself to not think of another excuse to extend this. He forced himself not to come up with some new, stupid little adventure they could run off and do just to fill up the last two hours. It wasn’t fair, and he wouldn’t be surprised if she just wanted to get cleaned up and go on with her life. He was a stranger to her- what more did he expect? Despite that strange feeling that just wouldn’t go away, no matter how much he struggled to make it so.

The ding of the elevator arriving upon the second floor snapped him out of his thoughts, and he automatically followed her out to walk towards their rooms. Oh, right...how convenient that they were so close to each other. It was like the universe was playing some horrible trick, torturing him, reminding him of what he was and who he was supposed to be.

Miserable. He was supposed to be miserable.

“Huh?” Shit, she was talking. Pay attention. “Yeah, of course,” he said, offering that light smirk. James wished she would just leave it at that, but something compelled her to keep talking, to keep thanking him for something he would have done numerous times if given the chance to. Things he’d continue to do were he allowed, were she not leaving. If she didn’t have a good life elsewhere. They were drifting to her door and he’d move so that he could lazily lean against the wall beside it as she unlocked it. His chest heaved with a slow, drawn in breath, but he refrained from letting it out in a sigh. He was also quick to shove his hands within his pockets, if only to further make himself, well...for lack of a better term…behave. “Thanks for followin’ and keepin’ me company.” It was more than this need to just touch her. If she asked him to sit up with her all night and talk, he fucking would have. Just standing there, even now, felt like this gap in his heart was finally filling up with something he hadn’t realized he had been missing. A feeling he didn’t think he could ever have. It was this companionship, this connection he didn’t fully understand yet...and now never would.

Go, Lina. Please go.

Jay was that desperate now that he almost let those thoughts become words. He wanted to tell her to go, to warn her, to just...anything, but he couldn’t help but feel like she was stalling, too. Don’t do it. Although his smile was small, it was sincere when she turned to look at him and he was struggling to keep the sadness and conflict from his eyes. All the while trying not to stare back into hers.

“I’m...glad to have met you, Lina…” he said quietly in return. And he meant it. She wasn’t about to be someone he would easily forget, no matter what life threw at him. Jay wanted to tell her all of that and more, but once again knew he shouldn’t. So he didn’t. He stupidly didn’t. His heart pounded, unable to reply to anything else as she was slowly making her way in through the open doorway, making it harder with each passing second to keep his feet grounded where they were. A nod, it was his way of urging her to go, to put him out of his misery.

But, it would seem the woman wasn’t done unintentionally torturing him. Since when had he gotten so weak?

That quick kiss to his cheek further silenced him, stunned him, bringing a hand instinctively to rest against her side before she was whispering that goodbye. Jay could barely register much of anything else as she was drawing away, closing the door behind her and leaving him there with a crazy array of mixed emotions. Blue eyes stared at that door and he took a few steps closer; but just as he found himself ready to knock upon it, he simply pressed his palm to it. And sighed. “Goodbye,” he murmured, gritting his teeth again as he turned to head to his own room.

The moment he opened the door, his eyes alighted upon the stuffed unicorn just resting upon the end table in the dimly lit room. He shuffled inside and lazily nudged the door closed as he fished out his cell phone. Still no messages. Still nothing. That anger welled up inside his chest before he slammed the damn thing down onto the table.


Lina rested her back against the door, her hands covering her face as she took in shuddering breath after shuddering breath. She shoved off it then, kicking her shoes and socks off, tossing her phone onto the bathroom counter and then yanked on the hot water. She didn’t think, she just acted. She had to. She had to make herself do something, or else she was going to be very stupid. She struggled out of her wet clothes and then went in search of some dried ones. Grabbing a clean t-shirt and plaid sleep pants she marched right into the bathroom, before she climbed into the shower, letting the warm water hit her body. She didn’t care how hot it was, and just stood under the spray before she rested her head against the cold shower wall. Letting the water clean off all the salt from the ocean. She reached for the soap then, lathering her hands up as she watched her hair.

Don’t think about him, don’t think about him, don’t- The sob broke through and it wasn’t because she got soap in her eye. It was because of James, because of how he made her feel. She felt like a person again when he was around. She felt a little bit like the real Lina. Not the empty shell of a woman that she’d been after Steven. He gave her meaning to life again despite how short of time they actually had been together. “Damn you, James Bishop!” She yelled. Needing to just say his name as her hand hit the wall of the shower. She ignored the pain, and the stinging sensation in her hand, and instead rinsed her hair. She stood there, staring up at the ceiling while tears mixed in with the water spray. “Damn you.” She whispered.

Her heart hurt, and there was no way to fix it. Well, there was, and it was three door downs. “I want you….To hog up all my time. You have until midnight, when the last hand strikes twelve...To be stuck with me.” Her own voice echoed in her mind. 2 hours...Well, it was probably nearing 1 and half now, but… Until the last hand strikes twelve. “Aaaargh!” She made a frustrated noise as she switched the water off and got out, quickly drying herself off. “Damn you Lina, damn you James. Stupid Scot, wanting me to hang out with you more. Making me want you. How dare you make me want to live.” She growled as she talked to herself. Quickly drying off and putting her pajamas on. She towel dried her hair before running a brush through it and then grabbed her phone. Going to her photos she stared at the last one taken. She stared at James and that stupid little smirk of his. “You’re infuriating.” She told his picture. Was she crazy? Was she going to do something stupid? Probably. But knowing she had at least an hour and half left of his time that he’d promised her...well she was going to tell him he promised… She couldn’t let that precious time go. Even if it hurt later. She needed to see him. Needed him.

Grabbing her phone and card key, Lina closed her door behind her after hanging her wet clothes up in the shower to dry out. She walked quickly, and yet determinedly down to his room. Putting her phone and key in her pajama pocket, and practically pounded impatiently on his door. Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up, or else I’m going to lose my nerve, James. She thought as she stared up at the ceiling, unable to hold still she was practically a jumping bean.

The moment he opened his door, Lina would look at him as her lips pursed. “The last hand hasn’t struck twelve.” She said almost angrily, her chest rising and falling quickly as if she’d just ran a mile, but it was because her heart was beating so fast. “You promised.” She whispered.


And he thought he was the only one trying to maintain his composure. He didn’t know she was struggling and fighting herself. James knew she had been stalling, he could sense it, but he hadn’t known why exactly and maybe he was just stupidly oblivious. Maybe he had just been hoping that she had been, that she didn’t want him to go...and he was completely wrong.

While Helina just kept moving to try and not think about it, James was sluggish. He was slow to kick off his shoes, lazy to yank the sodden shirt over his head before shuffling towards the bathroom. He didn’t know what to think anymore, just knew that he had to stop thinking about her. He had to stop thinking about how easy it was just to be himself around her. He was trying to ignore the fact that the agency hadn’t contacted him yet and it meant he might have more time.

No. She was leaving tomorrow. Enough of this bullshit already. You’re not entitled to this. There was no more time.

He lost track of how long he had been standing in the shower while the steaming water rinsed him free of the ocean, but it took forever to try and wash the memories along with it. Eventually, his thoughts went blank, he felt numb. Maybe he was slowly letting that training kick in to help just move past all of this and continue to be...whoever he was before her. Had he truly been that different two days ago? Did he not recall who he even was?

Blinking, he swore he heard a noise. Was that knocking? No, someone was pounding on his damn door. “What the fuck…” he murmured to himself as he quickly shut the shower off to dry himself. “One second!” he called to his impatient visitor. Somehow, he wasn’t wondering who it could be, his mind didn’t hope it was her because his mind was suddenly a clusterfuck of so many other things that he couldn’t concentrate on just one thought now. He was desperately trying to get back into his routine, even if his heart fluttered without him realizing, all because of her. Hopping into a pair of sweats, he didn’t have time to grab a shirt as he tried to towel dry his hair while walking over to open the door.

And, somehow, he just wasn’t prepared to see her on the other side.

At the back of his mind, he was aware that the hope crept back in, just wanting to see her face again...but he looked completely dumbfounded as he stared at her there before him. ‘You promised.’ Why did that strike such a chord within him? Why did his gut twist into knots, his heart pound wildly against his chest? He felt some sort of guilt as the shock disappeared from his face to be replaced by some strange mix of fear and confusion. It took him a long moment to actually say something, and it probably wasn’t what she wanted to hear. “Lina, I...I don’t think that’s a good idea…” It was neither acceptance or a complete rejection to seeing this promise through, but he was struggling again. He was trying not to let those walls crumble yet he could feel them cracking. He was trying to save her from everything, from himself. He wanted to try and explain everything but didn’t know how to.


Lina’s heart was going to hammer right out of her chest, she was so nervous. Trying to be brave, and trying very hard to keep her eyes on his face and not to wander to that very toned body. She didn’t like the look on his face as he looked at her. It was as if he was wondering what the hell she was doing, and also...Was that fear? Was he afraid she was there too? That feeling on the beach came rushing back. “...I know that worked…” He’d told her after they’d done their dirty dancing stunt. He was right. It really had. The Swayze worked, because it unveiled emotions and feelings she’d been denying since that damn ferris wheel. “Why?” She found herself asking quietly. She was glaring at him because being mad was the only thing keeping her there. It was the only thing giving her courage even if it was anger at herself for putting herself through whatever happened that night and the heartbreak of tomorrow.

She placed her hands on her hips and tapped her foot, her lips pursing again as she stared at him. She could feel her cheeks begging to turn red whether from her own anger or the fact James was half naked, she didn’t know. There was a tension in the air, that you could cut with a knife and she didn’t want to back down from it. She didn’t want regrets. If she didn’t at least do the stupid thing she’d never forgive herself, and constantly wonder about the what if. She should have just told him good night, turned around, and walked back to her room. For graduating high school two years early and having a MD. Lina was an idiot.

“I desire you…” She whispered. Staring him dead in the eye as she began to slowly walk forward. She was nuts. She was definitely nuts. “I write...to you. I write for you. I tear up everything I ever wrote for you or about you..” She was quoting him from lunch, but the way she spoke the words, held every emotion she had in those rogue black eyes of hers. “All I can say is that I want...I want you, James.” She came to a stop in front of him. Just barely out of his reach. Her hands still on her hips as she stared up at him. “Do the fucking Swayze, you chicken.” She said to him. Was she setting bait? Was she playing with fire? Was she taunting the man who wouldn’t back down from a challenge? You bet she was. Lina only waited a split second before she turned on her heel, and began to walk back to her room. Just as fast as she’d gotten it, she had lost her nerve. She’d put herself out there, and now there was nothing left to do but walk back to her room with her head held high to possibly cry herself to sleep, or James would do what she hoped to god had made it through his thick skull. The only question she hoped she’d left him with was what would Swayze do?


‘Why?’

James didn’t know how to answer that, not without spilling every single thought, every single reason...and he couldn’t do that. There were certain things he couldn’t share, even if a small part of him wanted to suddenly tell this woman everything. He wanted to forget everything that he was, everything he was hiding, and throw caution to the wind. Lina was standing right there and he was doing absolutely nothing about it. Was he insane? Or was that being smart?

What he was beginning to focus mostly on now, though, was how angry she was. At him. As if he had done something wrong when he thought he was being a complete fucking gentleman, thank you very much. The confusion intensified as blues widened, draping the towel around his neck and he leaned against the open door frame; mulling through his brain for anything to say. He was still trying to figure out what he had done, or perhaps it was something he hadn’t done, not knowing what else to do but stand there as those dark eyes glared at him. That tension was beginning to suffocate him, his jaws clenching again...and he was about to open his mouth to just say whatever he thought of first when she was speaking.

Every voice in his head that had been screaming suddenly silenced when she was, once again, using his own trick against him. Those eyes couldn’t move from her, watching as she slowly advanced...and it was working. It was working…very well. No matter how many times he had stopped himself, forced himself to be logical today, it had been a complete waste of effort. Because within seconds, she was undoing all of it, breaking down his resolve brick by conflicted brick and making it near impossible to know what was right or wrong anymore.

She’s leaving tomorrow. You’re emotionally unavailable for so many reasons. He kept trying to remind himself...but that inner voice was drowned out by her own, by the look in her eyes as he swore they would sear right through him. And, dare he think, he was about to let them. With every step she took, every word she spoke, he was forgetting all logic. This woman was being more brazen than he thought even he could be, she was challenging him, making a bet because she already knew he couldn’t back down from one. Yet, it was far more than that. He had wanted to give in before she knocked on his door.

‘Do the fucking Swayze, you chicken.’

Lina was indeed playing with fire, and he wondered just how much she understood this. Grinding his teeth, fingernails were digging into the wood of the door frame as she dared to turn away from him. She threw those words right in his face then set him up; walking away from him and leaving the rest up to him. Leaving it to his choice. Making him show his weakness if he dared, and he both loved and hated it at the same time. His heart was pounding, his head was swimming, and time seemed to slow down for just a moment.

Helina would only make it four steps down that hall.

His hand was taking a hold of her wrist before the logical side of his brain could stop him, halting her immediately and pulling her back to him. She wanted to dare him? She wanted to call him chicken? She wanted to see the exact reason why he had told her this was a bad idea? There were no longer thoughts about leaving her heartbroken or even himself. There were no longer reservations or thinking about how she had to leave in the morning. It was only the here and now, and fuck everything else. He was done with the bullshit surrounding him- he was allowed this one damn moment. He was allowed to feel happy and to feel human even for a short time. And so did she. Yes, more importantly, so did she.

James dragged her that short distance back into his dimly lit room, registering that at one point the door had closed behind them while he was pressing her up against the wall. With all logic gone, he released her wrist so that both hands could cup the sides of that beautifully defiant and glaring face, and slanted his mouth against hers. He didn’t think about how strange it was that they had only met yesterday, because it didn’t feel like that. He didn’t try to explain any of it because he simply didn’t have the words. Instead, he poured every frustrated, elated, confused and carnal thought into that kiss, desperate to know he wasn’t alone in feeling this way.


He’s not coming, he’s not coming, he’s not coming, he’s not coming- she’d gotten four steps down the hallway when she felt his hand on her wrist, and for a moment, Lina thought she was about to cry from the amount of relief she felt. She wasn’t the only one. She wasn’t crazy, there was something there. Clearly James had felt It too, right? Why else would he be dragging her into his hotel room? Did he want to give her a lecture on why they couldn’t? She’d sat through enough seminars over the last several days, she did not need another lecture. Especially when it was over how she was feeling.

It all happened so fast, she had no recollection of how she got from hallway to wall. Her only attention was on James as he pressed her into the wall and took her face in his hands. She heard the door click and her breath caught as she looked up at him. She didn’t get much to see before his lips slanted across hers and she practically melted into him as her body shuddered against his.

He wasn’t the only one who felt that way. Not by a long shot. Lina responded almost on instinct. As if she already knew what to do. This was right. This felt right. She had that weird soul feeling again as if she knew James for far longer than just meeting him yesterday. Wanting to show him he wasn’t the only one who apparently had these feelings, she kissed him back as if her life depended on it. Maybe it did, for her soul at least. As if it knew this would be the last time for a while they’d be together and if that was the case, she was taking her fill of him.

She could feel the slight prickle of his stubble as he kissed her and it sent her skin aflame. She’d certainly played with fire, and it hadn’t burned her yet. If anything it shrouded her in warmth. While her lips were busy matching his kiss for kiss, her hands reached up, grabbing the towel around his neck and roughly yanked him closer so she could press herself more firmly against him. She released one side of the towel before she pulled it off and tossed it to the side so her hands could explore. They started on his sternum before lightly trailing up and she ran her fingertips across his collar bone before she rested them on either side of his neck. Logic tried rearing its ugly head at her and for a moment she stilled. Wondering if she was hurrying too much into this. But there was a need for James and his touch that was stronger than anything she’d ever felt before. Fuck logic.

“You were right, it worked.” She murmured against his lips, before she broke the kiss long enough to lean her head back and get a good look at him. Her eyes were shrouded and dilated with her desire, as she tried to catch her breath. She searched his eyes, hoping there were no second thoughts as to what they were doing. She didn’t want to think about second thoughts, she didn’t want to think about anything, other than James. “It so fucking worked.” She sighed before she was leaning in and was kissing him again. Groaning slightly, and kicking herself for not kissing him sooner.


It took him a moment to realize that he wasn’t dreaming, that he wasn’t making this up. This was real, and she had come back to him. He wasn’t the only one thinking crazy things, or perhaps both of them were going insane. If that was the case, so be it, because he couldn’t think of a reason as to why this was wrong anymore or what would happen in the morning when she had to leave. None of it mattered as he couldn’t seem to think about anything but the touch of her beneath his fingertips, her lips against his.

No, James wasn’t crazy. He was normal, he was human. He was capable of being more than a soldier and this woman had somehow become living proof of that. She reminded him that there was more to life than his missions and the agency, even if he couldn’t go out and easily chase it. She made him want to all of a sudden, and it was making him spiral in a whirlwind of forgotten emotions without knowing if he’d ever come back down to the ground.

Even if this moment only lasted a few seconds, he felt blissfully complete. He couldn’t recall the last time he ever felt this way.

When Lina was kissing him back, yanking him even closer, he sighed happily against her mouth; goosebumps softly rising up along his skin at her exploring touch. It took everything within him not to crush her further against the wall or let his own hands wander. And he thought that chance was gone when she drew back. He had barely heard her words while his eyes drifted open to gaze down at her, already searching them for sudden denial or any second thoughts. None of this showed in his own, only that newfound need while fingers were subconsciously toying with a strand of her still damp hair.

It was insane how he was feeling everything all at once. His body was on fire, his mind was buzzing with a million things...and yet it was nothing but white noise. He saw and heard only her now, and James was suddenly looking rather pleased by this confession of hers. ‘It so fucking worked.’ She would be kissing a grinning mouth again before arms were slinking around her, drawing her away from the wall.

Ever so slowly, Jay navigated them towards the bed but only broke that kiss again in order to trail his lips along the slender column of her neck, softly brushing the hollow of her throat before she’d hear his voice at her ear; his breath warm against her skin. “These...pajamas are verra cute-” he mused quietly. She’d be able to hear the smirk instead of see it as it fell back onto his face. Another feather-light kiss was pressed to her jaw before he continued. “But, if you don’t mind…” The insinuation was heavy in his voice when it deepened as a thumb traveled slowly along her lower back and across a hip before hooking into the elastic waistband.

What would Swayze do? No, Swayze wasn’t here. She was about to find out what James Bishop could do.


She’d never hear the end of her denial on the beach, but she didn’t care at that moment. What mattered was she wasn’t denying the feelings James and her both had in those moments. He wrapped his arms around her and Lina felt secure against him. Safe. She most certainly felt a bunch of other things but the need for James was far stronger.

She let her hands come down to rest on his chest as he walked her backwards slowly. He broke the kiss and began his assault on her neck, setting her on fire as his lips and stubble scraped against her skin. Lina had to bite her lip to keep the loud moan that wanted to come out in, and she couldn’t help but tilt her head back to give him a better angle. His voice at her ear suddenly was her doing and James would be able to feel her tremble against him. That accent of his was even thicker and deeper when he spoke like this and it most certainly made a girl weak in the knees. And when he paired it with that grin she just knew that was there? He was making her come unglued in the best possible way.

His kiss on her jaw had her turning her head towards his, and for a moment. She could feel his thumb hooking into her waist band and Lina’s breath caught. This was one of the moments of no return. Once the clothes were off and they both did what they wanted there would be no turning back. She wondered what he would think of the scars she’d told him about earlier. If he would even care. He’d be able to feel some of them. Did it matter to her what he thought? A little bit. But she also wasn’t surprisingly worried for whatever reason.

She brushed her lips gently against his, denying him a kiss while she pressed into him and tilted her head to talk by his ear. “Take them off then…but,” one of her hands trailed down his chest and over his ribs before they settled on his hip and her own thumb hooked into the waistband of his sweatpants. She leaned her head back to look at him with slightly narrowed eyes and an amused smile before she brushed her lips against his. ”Fair is fair.”


Truth be told...it had been awhile. James was already feeling that urge to escalate this immediately as every part of him ached, as he could feel his heart thundering madly against his chest as if it was trying to break free. But he didn’t. As much as he could have, he wanted to hold her, wanted to taste her lips, feel every inch of her. Whether the midnight rule still stood or not, they had some time to kill, and he wasn’t going to waste a second of it.

Denied another kiss for a moment, she was keeping that smirk on his face with her words. ‘Fair is fair.’ Perhaps, but she was about to be denied it, albeit briefly. With his finger still hooked into the waistband of her pants, he tugged her just a little closer as his other hand rose to filter into the dark hair at the back of her head. Those bright eyes stared at her, studying that lovely face for a span of a couple heartbeats before he leaned down to claim her mouth in a kiss that was harder and more passionate than the last.

Heated madness spurred him forth. Any lingering traces of “what happens tomorrow?” were nonexistent. He felt only her, only cared about her as he guided Lina backwards towards the bed where she’d feel it gently bump against her legs. James did not let her go and did not appear as though he was ready to release her or break that kiss anytime soon. As much as his body tried to convince him to take her right then and there, he was in no rush.

If she was leaving him in a few hours, if there was no way they would see each other again, he was hellbent on making sure she would never forget him.

Finally finding the will, he broke the kiss for only a few seconds to urge her shirt right up and over her head where lips immediately dropped to her shoulder; gently assaulting the soft skin with teeth and mouth along that beautiful curve up to her ear again. James didn’t ogle, not yet, just letting his hands blindly travel down the bareness of her back and to her waist where fingers were a little hesitant lingering around her hips. Then, he would ever-so-slowly, agonizingly, push those adorable plaid pants down, drawing undies along with them where they would pool around her feet. As if it would help stave off the hunger, he was claiming her mouth once again, shuddering lightly at the sensation of her bare skin against his chest when he pulled her close.

But he was anxious, he was aching with need, battling the desire to touch and taste every inch of her. A sigh, more akin to an airy growl fled his throat before he was softly urging her back again. He supported her descent onto the bed while simultaneously unable to tear his mouth away from hers, pouring every ounce of that frenzied desire into the task. She could change her mind now, she could realize that this was complete madness, and he would stop. He might’ve been able to satiate that desire right then and there if he truly wanted, give in to this paralyzing craving...but not yet. He wouldn’t. His body shuddered with anticipation yet he was attune to every move she made- waiting, making sure she was alright, that she was okay with this. It was this overwhelming need to indulge this thirst but also an unspoken need to keep her safe. Always safe. He promised her that she would be.

He hovered over her, still half dressed and not willing to let her attempt to make it “fair”. It wasn’t time for that and he was quite content with kissing her, his tongue seeking entry to wrangle with her own. James was swiftly losing himself but one of those hands began to wander, fingertips brushing across her soft skin. There was no hesitation when he felt the softly raised scars along her side or upon her leg. Fingers simply studied them like a blind reader with a book of braille, feeling furious that they existed but somehow elated that she had trusted him, thus far, with their existence.


She knew he was trouble the moment he sat down next to her, and that smirk of his was both deadly and thrilling wrapped up in one. Lina’s eyes were nearly black with her desire and want for this man as he tugged her closer and his hand went to the back of her head. She studied him, albeit impatiently as he watched her face. What are you waiting for? A no? She wanted to ask, but as he dipped his head and claimed her lips, it had certainly been worth the wait. Far more passionate than his last one, Lina didn’t hide the moan this time. Having to grip his shoulders or she’d puddle on the floor. The man could kiss.

There were no more thoughts in her mind save for the ones of desperation that wanted him and wanted him now. She was growing impatient, and wanted him. As if she’d become a drug addict and the drug was James. She needed to touch and feel him, and she needed him to touch her. It was not a casual want anymore, it was a demand that left her feeling desperate.

A part of her wanted to take her time. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d done this before, but it had certainly been sometime and whether she cared to admit it or not, she’d only been with another person, and that person she would not allow to invade her thoughts. Not when she could only think, touch, and smell James. She felt the bed at the back of her legs and for a moment she got excited. Yes! Finally just toss her on and take her, so she could die happy. But he was going to tease her, she realized. Make her wait, and she supposed she could wait if he continued to kiss her like he was now.

His hands were on her shirt then, she was already taking over, doing that cross arm shirt removal that apparently only women could do. She didn’t know where it landed but she heard it hit the floor.. He was setting her skin on fire again as he kissed her shoulder and nibbled his way up to her ear. She’d closed her eyes as she shivered against him. Feeling his breath on her ear again and then his hands on her hips, before he pulled her bottoms off with the speed of a racing snail. She was on fire. Every nerve, and cell was on fire, and as her bare skin touched his, it felt like she was coming alive.

Before she could demand him to kiss her he was, and her arms went up and around his neck as he made that little growl. Her body jumped at the sound, and it made that need even worse. She went down on the bed, making sure to take him with her. Her hands threaded into his hair, gripping the strands slightly as her legs bent up slightly as he hovered. He didn’t have to ask permission as her mouth opened up for him. He was the sweetest nectar she’d ever tasted and her body arched slightly beneath him. Much like his hand was, hers began to wander as well until they stopped abruptly. His touch was light against her scars, but it caused her body to buzz with energy and she shuddered against him before she whimpered softly. It wasn’t a bad sound, if anything it showed her impatience as she began to kiss him more fervently.

Her fingers splayed across his chest before they trailed down to his stomach. Exploring the curve of his muscles, and feeling the softness of his skin. Her nails lightly scraped against his skin as the need for urgency came back, but she was also enjoying taking her sweet ass time touching him, while she drank him in and satisfied her thirst for him.

What she didn’t like was the fact he still had his damn sweatpants on. Her fingers continued their trail down, one of her fingers lightly tracing over his naval quickly before she hooked a finger into the band of his sweatpants. Removing one of her hands she cupped the side of his face and then bit his bottom gently to get her point across as she tugged on the elastic.


Well, someone was becoming a bit demanding. And it was in his nature to not oblige.

Even while her exploring fingers left trails of fire in their wake across his skin, her nails leaving soft shivers down his spine, he was still holding back. Maybe he was an idiot, or maybe he was simply dying to torture her as much as his own needs would allow. It was already becoming near impossible, yet that little nip to his bottom lip quickly knocked some sense into him and he pulled away; just an inch so that his smirking face could look down at her. Now she was really going to have to wait. In a sense.

How did he have so much control right now?

The amusement was slipping away from his features, slowly being replaced by a glint of dark mischief in those blue eyes. James kissed her once more, but it was slow and drugging. After only a moment, his lips eventually found their way down her neck again, across her collarbone and lower...then lower still. He was drifting away from her as the trail of kisses continued further down over a breast, to the flat of her stomach as he dropped to his knees on the floor. That was when he momentarily broke away and eyes flickered over her body to fully drink her in for the first time. Nearly shaking from the anticipation that made every nerve stand on end, shaking with this need to already finish this. But attention drifted to her face then, before his hands were sliding up her thighs where fingers would curl into the pliant flesh of her hips. Those leisurely movements suddenly changed and he swiftly pulled her to the edge of the bed abruptly.

Lips were on her once again. He was kissing her- placing one against her knee, against her inner thigh, across those scars, then slowly and teasingly with tongue and teeth until his mouth was drawn between her legs. It was not long before he was earnestly absorbed in the taste of her.

---

She was floating on a blissful cloud, not caring where she was, what was going, she didn’t worry about tomorrow or that ticking clock, no...She was blissfully riding out that pleasure that James had given to her. One of her hands idly stroked the hair at the base of his neck while she felt him tumble over that edge that she had just gone over. She lightly nuzzled his ear, placing a tender kiss behind it while she felt his breath on her shoulder. She was only half conscious of what she was doing, her mind in a pleasure haze that she didn’t know could exist.

His lips found hers and she hummed lightly into the kiss. Her lips curled in a small smile, and for a brief moment her body began to buzz again with that need. It hadn’t been enough. She wanted more, but she also knew it would be a bad idea. She couldn’t get attached anymore than she already was, still. The moment had been perfect. He was perfect.

He was rolling off of her then, and she suddenly felt a cold emptiness in the space he left. The magic from before was fading, as were the last bits of her pleasure as she stared at the ceiling, finally feeling like she could catch her breath. There was silence save for their breathing, and Lina was afraid to look over at him. Afraid if she did she really wouldn’t want to leave and it was a feeling that was breaking her heart into a million little pieces. She took a shuddered breath in, trying to fight the urge to cry. No, she was not about to cry after sex, what sort of woman was she if she did that? It would be lame, and very uncool. After a good moment to get her bearings, she finally moved, rolling onto her side next to him, she rested her head on her hand as she leaned up on an elbow.

She made herself look at them. Really look at him, and there was that tug in her chest she’d been afraid of, but also that want. She quickly realized she was never going to get enough. He was always going to leave her wanting more, and it terrified her. She glanced down, seeing something on his right bicep and mindlessly her fingers reached out to lightly trace it. It was a scar, vastly different from her own, but she’d seen enough bullet wounds to see their tell tale sign and she stilled. She had to remind herself he had been a Marine, and that explained the burns she’d also seen yesterday, but seeing them now made her realize James had his own scars and demons that he probably fought with as well. Two kindred spirits seeking solace in one another.

She didn’t say anything, at least not yet, before she bent her head and placed a gentle kiss against the scarred tissue. Raising her head again, she looked down his right arm and spotted the tattoo, and her index finger began to trace the rings lightly. “What do these mean?” She asked softly, curious about their significance and because she wanted to clearly torture herself by getting to know about him even more.


After a few moments, he was able to gather enough air back into his lungs and the panting subsided, but his heart still thrummed wildly. That may have just been from the mere fact that she was still laying there with him. And yes, very much naked.

But he, too, was afraid to look over at her. He also couldn’t bring himself to look at the shitty hotel alarm clock that would certainly show what time it was in bright, neon green numbers. It shouldn’t matter what time it was, but he still wondered if it said midnight if she would get up and leave. So, instead, he was trying to focus on the ceiling but ultimately, that need to look at her won out.

Head lolled to the side as he felt her fingers upon the scar on his arm, a reminder of his time in the Marines and a close call. Along with the small mark the shrapnel had left beneath his chin in which the auburn stubble managed to mostly conceal. The burns, however, were a result of some nasty business he’d gotten himself into during an ACIS mission.

Sometimes, he often wondered which job had been worse- the Marines or the agency, but he couldn’t help but hate both. James couldn’t help but really despise his life choices in that moment. How much had he truly denied himself because of it? Then again, would he have met Lina if the agency hadn’t recruited him? Would fate have managed to somehow bring them together for a couple days some other way? The idea that he would have missed out on that smile hurt far more than he’d like to admit, and he simply stared at her while her eyes fluttered over his scars, then that particular tattoo.

His arm raised up, as if he was too lazy to lift his head to look at the tattoo he’s had for years. “A reminder of my family,” he answered quietly, his voice raspy from sudden tiredness. He’d point to each band as he spoke again. “One for my father, my mother, and sister. So, I always have them with me.” It was a simple enough tattoo that he could have expanded upon it if his family ever grew, but that was never going to happen, now was it? At least, in a way, it helped him feel less lonely. Sort of. He turned on his side to face her, unsure of what to say or do because his head was just full of too many things at once. Perhaps it was best he said nothing at all, in case he said something foolish. He simply took one of her hands and idly toyed with her fingers instead, pressing a gentle kiss to her knuckles.

That nagging thought was coming back. That stupid request to have her stay, just for another day. But he couldn’t.


Lina’s dark eyes watched him as he raised his arm and pointed to each ring as he named them off. A reminder of his family. So he’d always have them with him. It was beautifully simplistic, but she was always someone who had found beauty in life’s simplest things. Her chest ached again, it just seemed to grow worse and worse the more she laid there, but she couldn’t move. She was frozen in place, and as James turned to face her, she felt as if her chest had been cracked open.

She watched him take her free hand and then play with her fingers before he kissed her knuckles. It was getting hard to breathe again, mostly because she was fighting the lump in her throat. It was becoming harder and harder to fight herself. The logical side told her to get up, put her clothes on and leave, but the insane part of her wanted to stay here. With James for as long he would let her. Her hand turned in his so her fingers could gently brush against his cheek. Caressing his skin lightly while her eyes showed her inner turmoil She didn’t want to leave and it was killing her inside.

She made the mistake of looking over his shoulder. Seeing the clock. 11:58 that soon turned to 11:59 stared back at her, and she stilled. Time to go. Lina, it’s time to go. She told herself gently. Listen. Listen to yourself, she screamed internally. But she couldn’t. Wouldn’t. More time. She wanted more time. When the last stroke hit’s twelve. Well, it couldn’t hit twelve if it was unplugged could it?

No longer thinking, she slowly rose up, scooting to the end of the bed she stood up and walked around it. It probably looked like she was going to actually leave, but she walked passed her clothes and over to that stupid clock. She grabbed it, feeling for the cord, and then followed it until she found the outlet. She pulled then, unplugging it, and the screen went black. As far as she knew, she had all the time in the world now. “It’s five o’clock somewhere.” She murmured in the dim light. A small smirk appearing on her face as she turned back to the bed, and then crawled back up to James. She hovered over him for a second, her dark eyes searching his before she cupped the side of his face and then dipped her head. Placing a soft kiss on his lips. “Can I…” she took a shuddering breath, as tears threatened to spill again. “Stay? Just...just for tonight?” She whispered resting her forehead against his. “Please?”


Blues fluttered closed for a moment from her gentle touch at his cheek. When they opened again though, he was finding that look in her own eyes, a look that mirrored the feeling in his chest. It was torment, longing, a sense of unknown, and it scared him at least. It was such a foreign thing that he didn't know how else to acknowledge it or speak of it. He thought to try and do so would just make the inevitable so much worse.

James had never pined for someone before, never secretly wanted more than just this...but he could feel it, a connection and understanding that sparked to life just by being next to her. It was insane and confusing, as well as completely terrifying. What in the fuck happened to him? Who was this woman who managed to capture him so easily, as if they'd known each other for years? Two sides of the same coin or missing pieces in a puzzle.

Then she was getting up without a word, and he came to find that he had stopped breathing. James leaned himself up on an elbow, running a hand through his now messed up hair to watch her; desperately trying to come up with something to say to keep her from going. She was leaving. Say something, idiot. Anything. But she was moving to that clock instead, it's bright numbers showing that it was a minute until midnight. Then suddenly, it was gone. Lina had unplugged it and James couldn't suppress the grin that curled up a corner of his mouth.

As she made her way back over, he thought his heart might burst from his chest. Those bright eyes were looking up at her, unable to ignore the emotion swimming around in those dark depths of hers, threatening to break him down even further. And her question made him pause for a second before his hand filtered into the hair at the nape of her neck to completely draw her down to him. James was kissing her again, securing her against him as he drew the covers over them both. He broke his lips away just for a second in order to answer her, murmuring against her mouth, "Please." It wasn't so much carnal as it was desperation or even hope in his voice. Vulnerability he never dared to share before just seeping through in that single word.

He wished he had the power to keep her there with him forever.

Realizing he was beginning to spiral again, James tried to lighten the mood a little bit. "Only if you sing again." Anything, he didn't care what.


Lina went all too willingly down on James. Melting into his kiss as he pulled the covers over them. She rested her hands on his chest as she tilted her head back slightly to return his kisses. The one worded murmur was all it took to shake her to her core, and the tears began to fall, try as she might to not let them. She was breaking. Why did it feel like a break up? Why did...why did it have to hurt this bad? He sounded so vulnerable, and if she had doubts about him having the same feelings before, she forgot all about them. He felt the same. This was hurting him too.

She wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand, not wanting him to know much she was blubbering. His request surprised her, but she would gladly do it. She’d do anything for him in that moment honestly. She kissed him long and hard for that moment, before she murmured, “As you wish,” against his lips. She smirked slightly. Giving him one more chaste kiss, she settled her head on his shoulder, resting a hand on the middle of his chest so she could feel his heartbeat. She didn’t know what to sing him, but the first song that popped into her head had her shaking. How ironically fitting it was for them.

She took a slow breath before she began to quietly sing. “Here I am waiting, I'll have to leave soon, Why am I holding on? We knew this day would come, we knew it all along...How did it come so fast? This is our last night but it's late...And I'm trying not to sleep, 'Cause I know, when I wake...I will have to slip away…” The song was originally a bit upbeat, but there was no upbeatness to Lina. She sang it quietly and it was full of sorrow, because it was their sad reality. “And when the daylight comes I'll have to go...But tonight I'm gonna hold you so close...'Cause in the daylight we'll be on our own...But tonight I need to hold you so close…” She snuggled closer to James, afraid he’d disappear if she wasn’t careful. That he would vanish sooner than she was ready for him to disappear.

Lina continued the song as best she could, but part way through those tears had begun to fall again. She sniffed as she sang, just letting them fall while her eyes drifted close and she tried to keep herself together. She imagined a better life. A life with James where they could see where this went. A life where she didn’t live in Alaska, and he wasn’t constantly moving. A life where two strangers had really hit it off and wanted to see where things went. That was her happy little fantasy in that moment while she finished the song.

“Cause in the daylight we'll be on our own, But tonight I need to hold you so close…” Her voice lightly trailed off, and then she just laid there for a moment. Breathing in the scent of his skin, before she was wiping her cheeks. “I’m not this weepy usually.” She tried to make light of her tears, but she was failing miserably, as her bottom lip quivered. She let a shaky breath out, and then slowly dared to look up at him.


Although he didn't know her long, seeing her tears was easily the one thing that could break him apart. More of his resolve was cracking and he was forgetting more of himself as she curled against him. He kept his arm tightly around her, refusing to let her go.

Maybe asking her to sing was a mistake, if only because he was quickly finding out that he couldn't easily handle the emotion that was swelling up in his chest. Her voice, so lovely and sad, was striking a chord in him again. He didn't need to look down at her face to know she was crying which was making all of this that much worse. He wanted to keep her there forever, this realization so heavy that it was going to crush him beneath the weight.

And when the daylight comes I'll have to go…

James leaned his head against hers as she softly sang, pressing a kiss to that dark hair before shutting his eyes. It was only when the song ended and she was lifting her face to look at him did his gaze drift back to her. "It's alright…" he told her quietly. A hand rose to wipe away any residual tears from her cheeks, and he was swallowing the hard lump within his throat to try and keep his composure. But it was a struggle and he feared he would crack.

"Where is home fer you?" The question came out before he could stop it. She had mentioned minor details but nothing to help him narrow it down. It made sense, as he was a stranger, but now? Now he was desperate to know. In case.

In case what?


Lina leaned into his touch while he wiped away the rest of her tears. She glanced up at him, watching him. She smiled at his question. “The place or the people?” She asked quietly. Home was where her Uncle and sister were in all honesty. But Marie lived in Washington, and Uncle and Lina were in Alaska. She’d learned to love the rural beauty of Alaska though. The trees, the views. The quiet. It was a beautiful place with a lot of wildlife that was also incredibly dangerous, and yet beautiful at the same time. She studied James with those dark eyes of hers. Scotland had been his home, where his family was no doubt. “Where my uncle and sister are.” She said softly. She reached up and rubbed her thumb gently against his chin, needing to touch him.

“But I live in Alaska.” She whispered. She’d been afraid to give him all the details before given the fact he had been a stranger, but he wasn’t. Not anymore. No, he was so much more now and it was terrifying. “We moved there after my mom died.” She told him. Her eyes watched her thumb as it gently rubbed against his stubble. “Scotland's home for you, right?” She asked. Wanting to clarify even though it was probably a bad idea to ask. She couldn’t. They couldn’t. It wouldn’t work. She couldn’t handle someone constantly being gone. She couldn’t handle another Steven. James was no Steven though, the two were vastly different, but it was a risk Lina was afraid to take. She didn’t know if she could handle another hurt like that. She was barely handling it right now.


He grinned faintly. "Either or, I suppose, but I was askin' about place." Even if he shouldn't. It wasn't going to be possible. There had been that strange hope that, perhaps, somehow this could work. James could see the sadness on her face, feel the desire in the way she nestled against him that she at least felt the same...but he still couldn't ask. It was too much to ask. It was wrong to ask. He never knew where he was going to be much ahead time or what the job would require until right beforehand...

No, he was being selfish now. This just never happened before, this feeling. He never wanted this, never wanted another person so much. Was this sane, was it normal? James kept mulling it over in his head and couldn't come to an answer.

Alaska, she said. So quiet and remote and far from the rest of the states. Suddenly, Alaska sounded amazing...and he was trying to ignore that, and not ask her exactly where she lived in Alaska. He was literally clenching his jaws before her gentle touch against his chin calmed his nerves. Even if she was the very reason his heart could barely beat at a normal pace.

"Glasgow," he told her with a light nod. His fingers lazily and softly ran up and down her side beneath the covers. "That's where I'm from, anyway. But I have a place in New York and Colorado...not that I've been to either in awhile." Actually, he had a lot of places everywhere- safehouses- but a construction executive didn't make that much damn money for him to feasibly tell her. His brow furrowed lightly. "It feels like I don't really have a home sometimes…" He didn't mean to say that out loud, but it was too late to take it back.


Dark eyes watched his face as he nodded at her. Glasgow. The highlands. She wanted to see them. With him, to visit. To meet his parents, his sister, she wanted- Stop it Lina. She said harshly. No, you can’t. You can’t. She told herself a bit more gently. New York, Colorado...So far away from Alaska. Alaska was so far away from everything. It was both a safe haven and hell in that moment. Maybe she could move down with Marie? It was a bit closer, if he visited the west coast he could at least visit, she could drive to meet him, she- Please, stop doing this to yourself. She begged.

She didn’t know what to say when he said he didn’t feel like he had a home. Make me your home… She thought, which was positively insane. Was she going to become obsessed with this man? Probably, but it was what the soul wanted she realized. And it scared the ever flying fuck out of her. How could you want someone so badly after only meeting them yesterday?

“I’m...sorry to hear that.” She whispered. “If...You’re ever up near Kenai…” She said slowly, letting a small breath out. “You have my number.” She smiled a bit shyly at him. It was a risk, but she wanted to at least see him again if he was in the area. If he wanted to see her. It was getting really fucking sad all of a sudden, and she didn’t like it. She didn’t...she didn’t like this feeling. Talking about this- It was just going to make it all worse come morning. But she also knew she needed to let him know that she did want to see him again. Even if it would hurt all over again when he’d be the one to leave.

Her fingers trailed up from his chin to touch more of his face. Using her index finger she lightly traced the lines of his face, memorizing as much as she could in the dim light before her finger came and lightly traced over his bottom lip. There was that spark again, that nearly all confusing want again. That craving, that need that her body demanded. If they had until morning, then she wanted her fill of him. No holding back. “James?” She said his name softly as her finger brushed over his lip again. “...Will you make love to me one more time? And...don’t hold back.” She requested in a barely there whisper.


The more they said, the harder it became knowing this was all going to end. He shouldn't be asking questions about her life, he shouldn't be telling her anything about himself. The more he knew, the more he wanted her to stay, even if they were small, minor details. Then…Kenai. He had the name of a place and it was ingrained in his mind. It shouldn't be but it was now too late.

But he did have her number, and her words made him smile softly. James didn't say anything in reply because he wasn't sure if he'd dare to make this harder by calling or texting or dropping by. He hadn't been to Alaska in years, which was a damn shame considering he had a dear friend there.

Did that make him a horrible person? Did this make him one?

There was no regret despite the sadness, but he didn't know what to do. He was all out of words to say- words that could be said, anyway. This had to happen...he just didn't think it would hurt this badly.

Eyes focused on her face again as her finger brushed across his own then his lower lip, and he nearly tried to snag that curious digit gently between his teeth. He refrained, too busy trying to figure out her thoughts before she spoke. And her request, murmured so quietly, suddenly pushed away any fatigue he may have been feeling.

Staring at her for a good long moment, fingers toying with a strand of her hair again, James' arm tightened around her until he finally flipped her onto her back in one quick motion. He hovered over her, letting those bright blues wander over her face, flickering down to that lovely red mark upon the curve of her shoulder. When his gaze fell to her mouth, he'd slowly inch his face closer to hers with every word uttered, "As...you...wish." He repeated her words from before. Lips claimed her own in a renewed, fervent need, and gave her exactly what she wanted until they were completely spent.