Post by Zara Beckett on May 28, 2021 5:30:24 GMT
She would have wondered about him, perhaps even felt guilty if she hadn't of checked on him. At first, she told herself that she shouldn't care so much, that she shouldn't get involved because she herself was a rather private person when it came to her emotions...but this was different This was an entirely different situation and she couldn't ignore it.
And maybe, she needed the comfort as much as he did, something she hadn't been able to admit to right away and likely wasn't going to share with anyone else.
Especially because, in this moment, that vulnerability had heightened, and it had changed, almost drastically so. There was something else there underlining the pain of loss and the fear of what had happened, and she realized it more when he spoke, the words murmured against her neck.
Fuck.
He was arguing with her, but Zara didn't seem to have it in her to deny it. She had told him it would be alright simply because it was the right thing to say and perhaps it would be someday. It was wishful thinking in what felt like an otherwise hopeless situation. So when he seemed to draw away right after, she suddenly felt cold and almost wrong, even lost. Green eyes blinked in confusion, sending a few more tears down her already tear-streaked face.
His hands were on her face again, trying to wipe it dry, and she found herself studying him right then. 'But it will be,' he said but she hardly heard it. All she noticed was that determined look in his eyes as though he truly believed this, and the light touches of his fingers across her skin. For a second, she didn't feel so cold.
What was happening? Why was she standing there so lost and dazed? Did she just imagine that he drew her back in, kissed her head? Was this all some wildly created dream that she'd feel embarrassed about when she woke up? She felt the most subtle of goosebumps rise across her skin and realized that she didn't want to move, she didn't want to go anywhere.
But you really should, Zee, she scolded herself.
When he finally left her side, she stood there in silence, watching his back when he turned away. What in the bloody fuck was happening? Why did she feel lost but angry at the same time? Perhaps she was far more tired than she thought and indeed mentally drained, but she couldn't help but feel like she had just been abandoned...and that didn't make sense, right?
'Go before I do something more stupid.'
Her gaze rose lazily over to his face when he threw that look of warning, and it would take her a moment to snap out of this sudden daze. "I don't think that's possible." Was that her voice, had she spoken up? She sounded so broken and defeated, and what should have been humorous or sarcastic, came out angry like she had just been rejected.
Why did she even care?
Fingers attempted to dry the last few tears from her face as she stepped back, realizing the desk was behind her. A hand fell to those papers she had picked up before, unable to decipher why on earth she was suddenly feeling annoyed. Maybe it was that warning in his eyes, maybe it was the sudden straight-to-the-point way he told her to go, as if everything from a minute ago hadn't even happened.
The logical thing to do was to just listen and head for the stairs, say nothing more. Instead, because the unexplained annoyance was taking hold, she angrily swiped at the papers and didn't bother to watch as they fluttered every which way. Zara spat a single word in his direction as she passed him to head for the staircase, "Fine."